Books that have helped you...

[whatamess]

I have a shelf full of books, some detailing my difficult child's issues in great detail, others giving suggestions of how to deal with behaviors,etc. Of all the books I have read in my journey with difficult child, only two have had an impact. I wish I had read them sooner (just read them both within the last year), they have really changed how I look at difficult child's behaviors. "Punished by Rewards" by Alfie Kohn and "The Explosive Child" by Ross Greene. Wondering what other transformative books may be out there that I should read. What books have helped you?

http://www.alfiekohn.org/books/pbr.htmhttp://www.alfiekohn.org/books/pbr.htmhttp://www.alfiekohn.org/books/pbr.htm

http://www.explosivechild.com/books/index.html

Oh, and a dvd (not so much the book) with a lecture given by Rick LaVoie called The Motivation Breakthrough

http://www.ricklavoie.com/videos.html

 

[compassion]

The handoutd from Naqmi's "Family to Family" classes. I also liked the Rainbow techiniquie in a thinki it eas Palvoruri's book. Coompassion

 

[crazymama30]

I like love and logic (for teens also)
the explosive child
how to talk so your child (teen) will talk and listen so your child (teen) will talk
Raising Cain--book on emotional issues our culture creates in boys.

 

[hearts and roses]

When my difficult child was still in school - she was in 5th grade when her most difficulties revealed themselves - I loved, LOVED, loved, "Teaching the Tiger". So much so, that I made a complete bound copy for difficult child's school.

I've read many others, but that one really helped me cope with difficult child and her education, teachers, school, district, etc. It also had a ton of valuable resources in the back. Very informative and non-technical, laymen terms, just great.

 

[totoro]

For me it would depend on what phase of K's development we are in or what part of a crisis.
Of course it all started with, "The Explosive Child" and then moved onto the Sensory Books, "Out of Sync Child" "Sensational Kids"
The Temple Grandin Books. Many other Autism books.
Onto almost all of the BiPolar (BP) books, favorites are Pavuluri's, Feadda's and Greenburg'. These are very well written and from the heart with great advice.
"The Bipolar Child" is the go to book for info.
Onto the ADHD books, Barkley and my favorite, "Understanding Girls with ADHD"

Onto all of my Therapy, Socializing, play therapy, Learning Disorder, Oral Motor etc....

Of course all of the Natural medications and the "Should I medicate my child's mind" "Rethinking Psychiatric Drugs"

I have Hundreds of books...
I have lots of non-fiction which I love and can relate to.

 

[gcvmom]

It may not have been transformative, but the book "Straight Talk About Psychiatric Medications for Kids" was very helpful for me.

 

[CrazyinVA]

Ones I found most helpful are below.

"Codependent No More" and "Beyond Codependency" by Melody Beattie. More helpful for parents of older/adult difficult children, especially ones with substance abuse issues. Also must-reads if you have any family member with substance abuse issues that you tend to get hoovered into. I read and re-read these books.

"Yes, Your Teen is Crazy: Loving Your Kid without Losing Your Mind" by Michael Bradley. Lots of humor in this one, as well as decent practical suggestions. The author even has a website with a message board where he answers questions personally.

"The Bipolar Child" as mentioned above. This taught me a lot about bipolar in general.

"Walking on Eggshells: Taking Your Life Back When Someone You Care About Has Borderline Personality Disorder" by Paul T. Mason. Title says it all.

 

[KTMom91]

"It's So Much Work To Be Your Friend" by Rick Lavoie.

 

[hearts and roses]

"Codependent No More" and "Beyond Codependency" by Melody Beattie.

"Walking on Eggshells: Taking Your Life Back When Someone You Care About Has Borderline Personality Disorder" by Paul T. Mason. Title says it all.

Both of those two were very helpful overall in dealing with the difficult people in my life, in particular difficult child as a young adult and more especially my sister who lives locally. The second book was my lifesaver a few years ago in dealing with my sister.

 

[Allan-Matlem]

Hi,

The paradigm shift from ' doing to' my kid qnd trying to control him ( rewards, punishments , consequences etc ) to ' working with ' him , putting my relationship first with him, relaxing the atmosphere etc - collaborative problem solving came with reading the explosive child by Ross Greene. The CPS approach has developed over the years and the best book by Greene both for teachers and parents is ' Lost at school ' . The language of problem solving is prsesented the best over there. The site http://thinkkids.org has plenty of info and videos on the approach. All of Alfie Kohn's writing especially Unconditional Parenting compliments CPS so well , check his site http://alfiekohn.org articles , books , intervews etc . Myrna Shure series teaches how to use dialog questions to promote thinking , reflection and relationship - check her site http://thinkingchild.com/. I was already a fan of Edward de Bono - How to teach your child to think , so approaches that focus on kids problem solving and reflecting on the consequences of their actions on others , how to address their concerns in appropriate ways rather than asking what's in it for me -=reward and punishment fitted in with my approach to education and parenting.
The beauty of a working with approach is that it makes you more aware of yourself and your contribution to the dynamic which can be very empowering and a catalyst to a lot of growth. I need to thank my difficult child for this.

Allan

 

[emotionallybankrupt]

The most helpful book for me was The Defiant Child: A Parent's Guide to Oppositional Defiant Disorder by Dr. Douglas A. Riley. I was able to successfully use some of his suggested responses to bring down some crisis points to manageable levels. The book is especially good in explaining the thought patterns upon which these children operate. Reading the book definitely helped me better understand my difficult child, even though it didn't give me a magic cure.