Borderline Personaility Disorder...Anyone??

[bran155]

Hello all, I am in desperate need of any advise anyone is able to give regarding Borderline (BPD). My difficult child daughter has just been given that diagnosis, on top of or opposed to BiPolar (BP). I was always iffy about the BiPolar (BP) diagnosis, when I did the research on Borderline (BPD), there was no doubt in my mind this was the right diagnosis. She is a classic Borderline, no doubt about it. She has every single symptom listed!!! Every one of them. She is 17 and has been in 3 rtcs, numerous day treatment programs and on several different medication combos. We are running out of time as her 18th birthday will be here before we know it, at which point I will have absolutely no control over her mental health whatsoever. I have read that this will be the worst time in her life, early adulthood will be the most challenging for her and our family. The research says she will be able to gain stability later on in life. However, I really need to hear that from someone with firsthand experience in dealing with this disorder. So if anyone has had experience with this and would be willing to share I would greatly appreciate it as I am losing my mind over here!!! She is extremely hard to live with, violent towards me and members of my family, all about herself, has no boundaries, no respect and no direction in life. My 7 yr old son has witnessed things that will no doubt affect him in the long run. I am scared for him just as I am scared for her. Please help. Thanks for listening and God bless.

 

[Star*]

Hi and Welcome,

Wow Borderline (BPD) is a tough mental illness! My son was diagnosis with Borderline (BPD) traits along with other things but he's very difficult to reason with and I can't live with him at all.

Currently the only advice I have to offer would be to contact an agency in your area called Mentor. Mentor was able to help us find a therapeutic foster family. And while I can tell you it's not perfect - he seems to be trying a little more (very little) there than he ever did here. It's my belief that his Borderline (BPD) traits and my I'm the Mom traits clash and cause no good working environment, and leave little room for him to grow.

I would recommend that you find something or someplace like a group home or Independent living situation where since she will be 18 she can get hooked up with SSI disability, learn to manage her monies, clean, cook, shop, do a bank account, ride a bus etc. To try to keep a Borderline at home is going to be more than I think most can handle. Yes, they mature and mellow with age. She would also qualify for a lot of things that if she was living at home she would NOT qualify for - like continued Medicaid, schooling opportunities, and independent growth.

My x mother in law was a BiPolar (BP) and Borderline (BPD). So i have had 1st hand experience with someone like that, and at the very least it will wear you to a frazzle. She was 52 when I met her and still going strong. Never EVER would agree to a therapist (there was nothing wrong with her she was perfect) and so she self medicated.

My heart goes out to you - if you choose to keep her at home, I don't think you will do yourself or your family justice. She needs to start learning how to do things for herself, and quite frankly you sound like you need a break.

Hugs
Star

 

[KTMom91]

Hello and welcome! Your daughter sounds a lot like mine...many big hugs. It's so hard, and they make everything so much harder than it has to be. I have long suspected more than ADHD going on with Miss KT, but she has no formal diagnosis on anything else yet. Thank you for your post, I'll look into Borderline (BPD) as a possibility.

 

[DammitJanet]

I responded to your other post.

I doubt most folks who "read" me here would notice me as a typical borderline and bipolar person but I am. I have mellowed with age so I am not as manipulative or chaotic as I was when I was a teen and young adult. I still have tons of the issues that go along with borderline though. Trust and anger are two of my biggies.

I had to leave home. One of my problems was my mom was my abuser so she wanted to keep me at home and keep abusing me which kept me in a vicious cycle. Once I left home I floundered for awhile but that did allow me to grow. I made huge mistakes....3 of them are my kids...lol....but then they arent really mistakes now are they? I think having the kids probably saved my life.

It has taken me years to learn all this...literally years...decades. I am not fixed by any means. I will always be bipolar and borderline. I will always be on medications. But I am here and I am loved by my family.

 

[bran155]

Janet, I did read your other response to me and I left you a response to my response ....... or something like that lol lol !!! Thank you, thank you for responding and being so candid with me about your own personal experience. It really does help to hear from people such as yourself, who are living this. I am happy to hear that you are doing well and that your family has stood by you. They know underneath all that chaos that comes with these disorders lies a good and decent person!! So kudo's to both you and your family. I wish you continued success in your journey towards happiness.

You are right about putting my daughter back into the system, in fact eveyone I talk to advises me to do so. I will muster up the courage, once again, and do what I have to do. I know it is the right thing to do and it would be best for all involved. I will post and update as to how it goes.

Thanks again and God bless.