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Parent Support Forums
Substance Abuse
Boundaries: It's Killing Me to Say "No"
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<blockquote data-quote="seek" data-source="post: 714135" data-attributes="member: 22002"><p>Ironically, I am going out on the streets tomorrow, to hand out supplies to homeless people. It's something I like to do. With these "strangers" there are no strings attached and I can say "no." (They often ask for money and other stuff).</p><p></p><p>With my grandson, I am trapped in "wanting to help" to get him "healthy." I have a belief that love and care = health, so it is very counterintuitive to go against that belief.</p><p></p><p>I am also remembering that my dad told me that he "worked all summer for my dad, and he didn't give me a dime" (he had traveled to help his dad out and he did and his dad reneged). My dad went on to create an amazing life from nothing - but he wasn't alcoholic - I am trying to give myself some ammunition to not "help" or coddle . . . it is so hard because I am naturally generous. It feels stingy to not help, especially when I have resources he doesn't have.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="seek, post: 714135, member: 22002"] Ironically, I am going out on the streets tomorrow, to hand out supplies to homeless people. It's something I like to do. With these "strangers" there are no strings attached and I can say "no." (They often ask for money and other stuff). With my grandson, I am trapped in "wanting to help" to get him "healthy." I have a belief that love and care = health, so it is very counterintuitive to go against that belief. I am also remembering that my dad told me that he "worked all summer for my dad, and he didn't give me a dime" (he had traveled to help his dad out and he did and his dad reneged). My dad went on to create an amazing life from nothing - but he wasn't alcoholic - I am trying to give myself some ammunition to not "help" or coddle . . . it is so hard because I am naturally generous. It feels stingy to not help, especially when I have resources he doesn't have. [/QUOTE]
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Boundaries: It's Killing Me to Say "No"
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