Hound dog
Nana's are Beautiful
I have vowed NOT to hang on to "stuff" as I advance in age. OMG! mother in law has stuff dating back to mid 1800's and even some before that!! Basically junk, believe it or not, as it means nothing to those in the family now.
Honestly, this had the capability to turn very ugly due to family history. The 2 sons, husband and his brother do not/never have gotten along. When husband's Dad died, his brother removed all of husband's inheritence out of the house as fast as possible. husband saw none of it. Ever. And later sold it. This did not help their relationship. Thanks to the brothers......the cousins also didn't have a relationship to speak of, and so on down the generations.
For starters, mother in law began telling family what they would get 20 yrs ago. Then as years passed they began to get labled. This was to prevent a repeat performance of what happened when husband's dad died.
What mother in law didn't count on.......is the daughters in law taking control. We have always gotten along and have similar personalities/views. In all truth, we've pretty much ignored mother in law's labels. Mostly because it's not practical for many family members to take items that were given to them due to space ect.
So by 5pm my 2 girls, husband and neice's youngest daughter had all arrived. We had most stuff sorted by then and knew where 90 percent of the big furniture was going. They were walked thru and told if there was anything they'd like to have to speak up now.
Unless easy child would like some of the kitchen stuff.....the vast majority of it is going to Nichole who is about to start her own home, same with linens. easy child is taking the beautiful rocking chair she's loved......and already has the other items mother in law gave her, plus a silver opera purse engraved with her namesakes initials. This does not count their silver and china. easy child's is already at my home. Nichole will be getting hers within a day or so. (actually I'll be storing hers as well)
There are tons of photos to go thru. I have copies of many of husband's childhood photos. He doesn't really care alot about them. His bro may feel the same as he also has copies. Then grandkids get a turn, then great grandkids.
That's how we've been doing it. Kids first, grandkids, then great grandkids, even the 11 mo old great great grand got something. Sister in law was firm with her kids/grandkids to be practical about what they could/couldn't take. (It has to travel back to virginia) I did the same with mine, making certain they also should consider that everyone should get something from mother in law.
We're being uber flexible. And it's working out nicely so far with no hard feelings.
We have only one hitch. My neice had told mother in law over and over she wanted no china or silver from that side of the family because she had 3 sets from her mother's side already. mother in law then gave the sets she had (3) to K, easy child, and Nichole. K will not receive hers due to circumstances, however they may be saved for Kayla when she is grown (as is the ring on my finger). This has been set up for years. And like I said......I've already got easy child's set.
Now neice is wanting a set. Today I tried to give her the set intended for K. She doesn't like that set. Her mom backed her up and said that her own mother had a set like it and neice wouldn't take that one either. I know sister in law took neice out on the porch and spoke with her. No more was said about the china and silver.
For me this is no problem. I'm a paperplate, plastic silverware family gathering person. But my girls have looked forward to receiving these family heirlooms their entire lives. They've been passed down generation to generation for more than 150 yrs. So I truly hope this can be worked out in a way that everyone is happy. I don't want to cheat neice out of hers either........even if she repeated stated she didn't want it.
I guess there always has to be at least one hitch. But the rest is moving smoothly. Tomorrow we're packing up the kitchen. Then other than sorting pictures and books (some ancient antiques) and actually moving the stuff where it is to go, we'll be done.
Oh, and we're attempting to choose something special for the eldest great grandchild because she is not here. And although she said she didn't want anything.......well, you know. Hard cuz her Mom and sister in law says her tastes are out there a bit.
But I swear as I get older I'm going to downsize as often as possible!
Going thru mother in law's desk ect they found records dating before 1960's!! sheesh
Honestly, this had the capability to turn very ugly due to family history. The 2 sons, husband and his brother do not/never have gotten along. When husband's Dad died, his brother removed all of husband's inheritence out of the house as fast as possible. husband saw none of it. Ever. And later sold it. This did not help their relationship. Thanks to the brothers......the cousins also didn't have a relationship to speak of, and so on down the generations.
For starters, mother in law began telling family what they would get 20 yrs ago. Then as years passed they began to get labled. This was to prevent a repeat performance of what happened when husband's dad died.
What mother in law didn't count on.......is the daughters in law taking control. We have always gotten along and have similar personalities/views. In all truth, we've pretty much ignored mother in law's labels. Mostly because it's not practical for many family members to take items that were given to them due to space ect.
So by 5pm my 2 girls, husband and neice's youngest daughter had all arrived. We had most stuff sorted by then and knew where 90 percent of the big furniture was going. They were walked thru and told if there was anything they'd like to have to speak up now.
Unless easy child would like some of the kitchen stuff.....the vast majority of it is going to Nichole who is about to start her own home, same with linens. easy child is taking the beautiful rocking chair she's loved......and already has the other items mother in law gave her, plus a silver opera purse engraved with her namesakes initials. This does not count their silver and china. easy child's is already at my home. Nichole will be getting hers within a day or so. (actually I'll be storing hers as well)
There are tons of photos to go thru. I have copies of many of husband's childhood photos. He doesn't really care alot about them. His bro may feel the same as he also has copies. Then grandkids get a turn, then great grandkids.
That's how we've been doing it. Kids first, grandkids, then great grandkids, even the 11 mo old great great grand got something. Sister in law was firm with her kids/grandkids to be practical about what they could/couldn't take. (It has to travel back to virginia) I did the same with mine, making certain they also should consider that everyone should get something from mother in law.
We're being uber flexible. And it's working out nicely so far with no hard feelings.
We have only one hitch. My neice had told mother in law over and over she wanted no china or silver from that side of the family because she had 3 sets from her mother's side already. mother in law then gave the sets she had (3) to K, easy child, and Nichole. K will not receive hers due to circumstances, however they may be saved for Kayla when she is grown (as is the ring on my finger). This has been set up for years. And like I said......I've already got easy child's set.
Now neice is wanting a set. Today I tried to give her the set intended for K. She doesn't like that set. Her mom backed her up and said that her own mother had a set like it and neice wouldn't take that one either. I know sister in law took neice out on the porch and spoke with her. No more was said about the china and silver.
For me this is no problem. I'm a paperplate, plastic silverware family gathering person. But my girls have looked forward to receiving these family heirlooms their entire lives. They've been passed down generation to generation for more than 150 yrs. So I truly hope this can be worked out in a way that everyone is happy. I don't want to cheat neice out of hers either........even if she repeated stated she didn't want it.
I guess there always has to be at least one hitch. But the rest is moving smoothly. Tomorrow we're packing up the kitchen. Then other than sorting pictures and books (some ancient antiques) and actually moving the stuff where it is to go, we'll be done.
Oh, and we're attempting to choose something special for the eldest great grandchild because she is not here. And although she said she didn't want anything.......well, you know. Hard cuz her Mom and sister in law says her tastes are out there a bit.
But I swear as I get older I'm going to downsize as often as possible!
Going thru mother in law's desk ect they found records dating before 1960's!! sheesh
