Bridal shower question

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by flutterby, Jul 25, 2009.

  1. flutterby

    flutterby Fly away!

    difficult child's PCA is having a High Tea bridal shower (Gcvmom, I thought of you :) ) tomorrow. We are invited.

    PCA knows I can't afford to buy a gift. If it was just me, I wouldn't go because I won't know anyone other than the bride. But, difficult child really wants to go.

    Is it going to be in really bad taste to attend without bringing a gift? I feel really uncomfortable showing up without a gift.
  2. muttmeister

    muttmeister Well-Known Member

    How about writing off some of your or your friends' favorite recipes? PUt them in a cute box or a notebook and use that for a gift.
  3. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    Since PCA knows the situation, I wouldn't worry. Have difficult child make a card (I remember that she writes, but does she draw, too?) and, along with your best wishes, let that be enough. Have a great time...teas are fun!
  4. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    I like the recipe idea... my BFF did this for my bridal shower. Everyone brought an index card with their favorite recipe on it -- some of the ones I received from husband's sisters and mom were passed down in their family for many years which made it particularly special to me. Maybe you have a few that are special to you that you could jot down and slip in a homemade card. I think you should go because your presence will be more important than any present. I hope you have a fun time!
  5. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    I like that idea, too! Also, what if difficult child made cookies or a cake and took that?
  6. mstang67chic

    mstang67chic Going Green

    You could also do up a recipe in a jar. I've seen people do it with cakes and cookies (all the dry ingredients in a jar with a ribbon or fabric around the lid) but I imagine you could do it with a lot of stuff. Cakes, cookies, even main dishes as long as there are enough dry ingredients to fill a jar or even a jelly jar and then attach the recipe.
  7. graceupongrace

    graceupongrace New Member

    Lots of good ideas here.

    Your signature says difficult child is an artist. A drawing or painting (or whatever she has created) would be a lovely and special gift.

    You could also get an inexpensive wooden picture frame (from Target, or a craft/art supply store) and decorate it with beads, shells, ribbon or lots of different buttons (all white/pearlized to be wedding-esque). Perfect for a photo from the honeymoon.

    Or you could just show up. Being there to demonstrate your love and support for PCA is in itself a wonderful gift! :D
  8. flutterby

    flutterby Fly away!

    Those are great ideas, but (I really don't mean to be difficult)...

    I really don't know her well enough to know what her favorite recipes are (she's difficult child's PCA, not a personal friend, and about 13 years younger than me), and I'm no cook so I have no great recipes to pass on. We got the invitation on Wednesday for the shower on Sunday and I was busy being sick, so today is the first time I've really thought about it.

    I did talk to PCA on the phone tonight and she was saying how her acne was really kicking up from the stress. (She doesn't want this shower, let alone a High Tea - so not her style - but her sister wanted it. She said she shouldn't have told anyone she was getting married and just eloped. They're getting married in Tahiti anyway).


    I told her that I have tried every product out there for acne and nothing worked, but I recently discovered by "accident" (because I was out of facial cleanser) that Bath & Body Works shower gel has worked better for my acne than anything else. And a few weeks ago, they had a huge sale and I got 3 bottles of it for $10 - normally $10.50 each. So, I'm going to give her one of those.

    I did look online earlier at the stores where she's registered, but of course all of the items that I could have swung had already been fulfilled.

    This is why I never had a wedding. I could never justify spending thousands of dollars on a wedding and then expect gifts. Not that I'm saying that she expects gifts because she doesn't. But, I would rather spend the money used for a wedding on the stuff we would need and/or a down payment on a house.

    And difficult child keeps asking me what she should wear. She said PCA told her just to dress like she would for church, but difficult child has no idea what that would be. We're not a religious family and difficult child's an atheist to boot. All of her clothes are goth/emo/scene and the one pair of tights I recommended she has torn holes in. (Remind you of anyone? ;) ) The others are a fishnet kinda thing; not really tights. I at least told her to wear her knee high combat boot things rather than her high top converse. Her one dress that isn't too goth/emo/scene is just a tad too snug and the zipper in the back keeps coming down about 1/2 an inch.

    So, when I told her that fishnet tights aren't really something you would wear to church she kept asking me why. I couldn't tell her that back in the day they were seen as a bit sleazy or she would have gotten really upset. So, I just said, I don't know; it's just they way it's viewed. And, of course, she got mad and stormed off. Sigh.....
  9. Marguerite

    Marguerite Active Member

    Dress - smart casual. Goth is OK but preferably not Goth with holes, unless the holes are held together with coordinated gold or silver safety pins. Tell your daughter "dressy Goth" is OK.

    I used to wear fishnet stockings to church back in the late 60s.

    As for what to take - you don't need to be a good cook in order to have some good recipes. And they don't need to be printed out, they can be a computer file.

    Over the years I have got together family favourite recipes as well as ones I've either found myself or enjoyed at a friend's. I put them all together in a computer file and give each kid a copy when they leave home. I've included suggestions on shopping, budgetting etc. I even have a travel version (what to take when you're on holidays but still have to prepare meals).

    Some things I've done for wedding presents -

    1) I put together a basket of kitchen utensils - wooden spoon, spatulas, vegetable peeler, zester - anything small, cute and interesting. Practical things such as a ball of kitchen string, some kitchen scissors. Some kitchen cloths, maybe some of those mitts or microfibre cloths. You can pick up these individual things for a fraction of a dollar, that's why nobody ever gives them as gifts - they're too cheap individually. Wrap it all up in a teatowel. You could get a lovely gift together of the sort of tings they probably WON'T get, spending under $10.

    2) Or a basket of "spoil yourselves" goodies, a lot of which you can make yourself. I did this for difficult child 1 & daughter in law, I gave them the basket as they drove off on their honeymoon. Probably not suitable for a bridal SHOWER, this is more the sort of last-minute thing you shove at the happy couple so they can have a fun honeymoon. I put in a mini-bottle of champagne, two plastic champagne flutes, a small hand-towel or tea-towel (handy on picnics), a small box of chocolates. I made some special heart-shaped biscuits for difficult child 1 & daughter in law to eat while driving. Also some massage oil for when they got to their destination, it had been a stressful day. Do it up prettily, make it look romantic. These baskets usually sell for $50 or more, you can put one together for a fraction of that price.

    3) The massage oil - that alone could be a useful and valued gift. Find an attractive bottle in your cupboard. Get someone to decorate it - glass paint is great but you can also paint something onto white paper then use clear contact to stick it to the bottle. I also make sure I include information on what is in the bottle - vegetable oil, some essential oil (or scented oil). For the base oil, you can use olive oil but if you have it or can get it, a nut oil of some kind is even better. For the fragrance, use your nose to find something but the purpose of this oil is to help them relax so go for rose and/or lavender. Lavender is an inexpensive essential oil you can often get in the supermarket, it's a good choice. Don't use too much - it's not a matter of being stingy, too much makes your eyes water. A massage oil needs to be mild in intensity. So to about 80 ml of vegetable oil, try about 2 ml of lavender oil. Adjust a little if you need to, but wait a few hours, your nose can get 'tired' and not recognise the strength of what you made up, it's easy to add too much.
    If you do a lavender oil massage blend (which is a good choice also because it's more unisex than rose) then use blue or mauve colours in your hand-painted label. Tie a lavender ribbon to the neck of the bottle (I use cheap curling ribbon).

    4) You can do this as well, or put it into a care basket - a bottle of skin scrub. Again, use lavender oil to scent it (especially if you're also giving them massage oil). Lemon is a good oil to use too.
    For the base - olive oil is best here but if you've got sweet almond oil or macadamia oil that you're happy to use, it is great! But I use olive oil, I'm very happy with it.
    The mix - salt (not rock salk, but cheap cooking salt nevertheless). Pour over olive oil plus lavender oil in the same proportions as the massage oil. Make sure you have about 1 cm of oil over the top of the salt in the jar. If you have a small plastic spoon (the sort of thing shops give you to eat a serve of ice cream or yogurt) put it inside the jar. You want a spoon which will hold about quarter of a teaspoon.
    Decorate the jar but include the instructions - "to use - put a small spoonful into your hands. Scrub your skin with it. Rinse off with warm water then blot dry with a cloth. Your skin will feel clean and smooth."
    It's wonderful to use - at first you think, "Oh this is awful, my skin feels so greasy," but after you blot dry with a cloth, the faint trace left behind is just enough to compensate for the scraping you gave your skin to get it clean.
    The recommendation is to not use it on your face, but I do.
    It contains no artificial additives or preservatives. I've used it in the shower (I have a lavender jar there) and I have a tangerine/jasmine jar in the kitchen. husband has used it to clean ingrained garage grease off his hands (works like Solvol) but I also have used it after a swim at the beach when my skin feels dry and damaged.
    I've priced out this stuff in the stores - similar products cost $50 a jar or more, for something I can make for under $1. And I know what has gone into mine! I've studied the ingredients list of the commercial expensive stuff and apart from preservatives, there is nothing in it that I haven't also put in mine.

    Also, you can make it in seconds.

    I also do a baby massage oil (similar to above) but I use a lot less essential oil and prefer to use sweet almond oil or jojoba for the base oil. I've used rose oil plus sandalwood as the scent because it is also very good for sensitive skin or inflamed skin, Great to prevent nappy rash and also soothe a baby's delicate skin.

    And again, the final touch is how you decorate the bottle. I get a square of paper, write on the information thn do a miniatire painting of garden all around the words, using water colours or acrylics. Then I stick the label down, covering it completely, with clear contact. If you don't completely cover it then your label risks tearing off and looking amateurish. But a good cover - it looks absolutely wonderful and very special.

    The sort of bottle to use - it needs to have a tight screw cap if you're going to tip it upside down and have it not leak. But if you want someting pretty to sit on the shelf and it won't be needing to travel, then find a bottle with a plastic seal and hollow lid (like Moccona coffee jars). You can carefully snap off the plastic jar seal from the rest of the glass lid and fill the hollow glass lid with pot pourri or something else pretty. I have used a silk flower from a cheap bouquet I bought ages ago (I bought it cheap because it was badly put together, flowers were falling off - whhich suited me). If you have something like that which has lost a couple of flowers or leaves, then rip off another few and stuff them (prettily) inside the glass lid then snap the plastic seal back on. Or you could make a tissue-paper flower and put that inside the glass lid. Or confetti, or glitter.

    Anyway, there's some cheap ideas for you.

    And of course, you have to make some for yourself so you can test it, don't you?

  10. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    Marg has some great ideas. It reminded me once when I was on an especially tight budget but needed to put together a gift, I got a small basket from the dollar store ($1), line it with colorful tissue paper ($1 at most), and filled it with trial sized things that I had picked up at walmart and other places (suntan lotion, fingernail polish, bath oil, lotion, etc) for $0.50-$2 each. The whole thing cost about $10 and people getting ready to travel love the smaller items.

    I love the idea of the kitchen theme though. And a nice picture frame.

    I've also done a basket for a neighbor couple that had a few pieces of fruit, cookies and fudge that difficult child made (people don't expect perfection if it's made by difficult child LOL!) and a small gift certificate to a mid-level restaurant. This was at the holidays though for a retired couple and probably wouldn't be as fitting for a young couple getting ready to travel.