So, I am battling with a bit of a conundrum. difficult child used to be nothing short of brilliant off medications. His ability to draw, remember facts, people, places, strategies was amazing. Especially his artistry was striking, her drew pictures that were unbelievable from the age of 5 on. His knowledge of art, music, is striking. When we had him tested at this time his collective IQ was 135. Unfortunately the more brilliant he was, the more manic he was. He could draw a breathtaking picture, and then be in a rage within seconds, tearing up the picture, and then his room. It got to be where I dreaded his artistic moments, because they always ended up in disaster. I would steel myself in another room, or leave, because I knew what was next. Yet.........he had this gift. Over the course of the next several years from 10-14 he spiraled downwards, and fast. He was on more medications than I can remember, and hospital many times. And suddenly his brilliance within certain areas was gone. He was re-tested and his IQ had dropped 20 points. He no longer drew, or had any interest in the arts - whereas before he spent hours a day drawing. As sad as I was about his mental cognitive function decline, I also knew if he did not take these medications I would lose him completely. Completely. So he has been on medications since. The last 2 years, we have finally found a medication combo that actually works, and he is more stable than he has ever been. Last night he came in and starting talking to me about opera, and naming the characters and plots of certain operas, and asking me if I had ever heard them sing. "They are amazing," he said. (Personally I hate the opera, so it's not like he gets this from me.) We started looking them up on the internet together, and discussing all of it - and I realized it has been years since his interest in the arts has re-surfaced. It disturbed me when I remembered where he used to be - and it disturbed me that it is gone. It really tore at me. So I question if he is stable enough now to start d/cing some of his medications and have his mind come back into full action? I don't know. His creativity has always been his demise. The more he would get into a project, the more he would self destruct later. Now, he is just even keel, but about everything. Nothing really motivates him - at all. I guess I just ask your opinions, as they always give me so much to think about. I think of Edgar Allen Poe.........Van Gogh.........in this day and age they would have been medicated. Would they have lead possibly a happier life? Probably. But then their gift to the world would have been gone. It conflicts me.