Bringing our stress from raising our difficult child's to our job

[liz]

Good morning everyone

Does anyone feel that they have a hard time not walking into work stress-free because of whatever they have dealt with with their difficult child that morning?

I feel I do an OK job of dealing with the stress at times; but sometimes I walk around in a sort of PTSD.

Does anyone else know what I mean?

I used to find a movie in the theater during the day helped but now even that doesn't seem to work. Any ideas?!!

Please tell me I'm not crazy! Well, I know I'm crazy, but..... lol

 

[InsaneCdn]

Please tell me I'm not crazy! Well, I know I'm crazy, but.....

If you're crazy then... pretty much everybody else on this board is, too.

Yes, the stress carries over.
And no, life doesn't cut us any slack to deal with it.

 

[liz]

Thanks InsaneCdn!!! Just needed confirmation on that!! At least I'm in good company!!

 

[AnnieO]

Liz... I used to leave home 15-20 minutes earlier than I needed to and dread going home after work. I'd make up reasons not to go straight there.

You are NOT alone!!!

 

[idohope]

I once had to give a presentation at work at 9:00am. difficult child (11 at the time) did not want me to go to work that morning. I left and her Dad was to get her to school. I took a call from her as I was driving to work. She had her Dads cell and had disconnected the home phone. She was in her room with a large pair of scissors threatening to kill herself if I did not turn around and come home. Her Dad was getting easy child 2 on the bus and I could not reach him because difficult child had his cell had disconnected the home phone. I told her I would call 911 and send them to our house if she did not put down the scissors. She told me she put the scissors down. I kept talking to her until her Dad finally came into her room. (I was confident in the bluffing aspect here. I would have made the 911 call in an instant if I had thought she was about to hurt herself). Then spent 20 minutes of my commute crying and then recovering. I arrived at work and gave my presentation. Most people can not imagine the type of stress parents of difficult children carry with them.

On the other hand people come to me at work when there is a need for conflict resolution. Co-workers not getting along, petty turf wars are a piece of cake compared to getting a difficult child to go to school, take a shower etc. Plan B is very effective in multiple situations.

 

[Nikki88]

I TOTALLY understand what you are going through, I am dealing with alot right now. And it makes my stress level go up, right now I am sitting here in almost a panic because we started new medications today, and I am worried about how difficult child is dealing, and with another school issue.

 

[idohope]

And how do I deal with it:

I have been on medications myself for depression. Just weaned off actually...lets see how that goes. Work with my own therapist who among other things emphasizes breathing which I employ when needed. Taking a few minutes at work to come to this site.

 

[AnnieO]

taking a few minutes at work to come to this site.

yup!

 

[Nikki88]

That's what I am doing, I find that sitting at my desk, and just being able to "type it out" and know there are people out there that understand how I feel and what I am dealing is really helping me.

 

[LadybugMama]

I understand. I wake up with anxiety attacks now days. It is odd how parents are blamed for everything. Sometimes it is the children, sometimes it is the environment they started off in, other times it is society.... The society that frowns upon any sort of discipline. My parents disciplined me. I am well educated, have an excellent work ethic (which unfortunately is not being used at a good kind of job... I feel like a prisoner in my own home sometimes!). I turned out just fine, I think. I am sure that most of us as parents were disciplined as children with something other than a time out. We are, as a whole, just fine and stable. We weeded through the positive and negative and educated ourselves. The parents who do not deserve to have children are walking around all peachy king and the parents who struggle and go without to do the right thing are the ones under the limelight for ruining their children!

 

[liz]

I am glad to not be the only one. I think I hide it well; but someone at work said that I always seem so anxious and I was kinda embarrassed by it as I thought I was doing a great job handling the stress and all. She has seen my difficult child when he was four and was always telling me "I needed to get ahold of that boy!" As if it was that easy....kinda nasty woman actually.... UGH! Just sometimes I wonder how I look to others or uf she was just being a nasty individual as always, y'know?
Thanks ladies for understanding, I do have Klonopin that I can take when the times get rough.

 

[HaoZi]

You're not crazy. Kiddo went nuts on me this morning and I didn't realize how PTSD'd I was until I was at work. I couldn't handle kids, I couldn't handle people yelling, being demanding, being rude (I work in fast food, I was ready to go home within an hour I can tell you that much). I spent the entire day frazzled and on edge.