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Substance Abuse
broken relationship
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 707214" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>I say this gently and hopd you take it as such.</p><p></p><p>You are enabling his bad behavior, like stealing and going to jail. So yo<span style="font-size: 16px">u are codependent. Your son isnt being codependent on you.Dependent maybe. He wants you in his life partly for money and other perks. All our kids here do.</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 16px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 16px"></span></p><p> <span style="font-size: 16px">Codependence means I believe that you try to fix tje other person although you cant. But you keep giving and giving for naught.</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 16px"></span></p><p> <span style="font-size: 16px">Your son is more taking from you than giving to you and stealing from you is abuse. So Im sure he loves you but he is also using you and sometimes abusing you. He certainly isnt trying to make your life better. Its a one way path of who is doing all the giving. You are.</span></p><p></p><p>My uneducatrd guess is that you two are enmeshed, bit it seems you are not getting much out of your relationship other than sadness and disappointment. It is a process, but my guess is you will eventually detach from his drama out of necessity. You will still love him but will not get as emotionally involved in his decisions.</p><p></p><p>Sometimes trying to do too much for somebody holds the other person back, from growing up and from accepting responsibility for his actions and it can make us sick to try to fix another loved one. Stress makes us sick and doesnt help the other person. We cant fix another. Only the peRson can do that...fix himself.</p><p></p><p>I recommend reading Codrpendent No More by Melody Beattie. Great book on codependence. Very helpful to many.</p><p></p><p>Sorry you are sad.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 707214, member: 1550"] I say this gently and hopd you take it as such. You are enabling his bad behavior, like stealing and going to jail. So yo[SIZE=16px]u are codependent. Your son isnt being codependent on you.Dependent maybe. He wants you in his life partly for money and other perks. All our kids here do. Codependence means I believe that you try to fix tje other person although you cant. But you keep giving and giving for naught. Your son is more taking from you than giving to you and stealing from you is abuse. So Im sure he loves you but he is also using you and sometimes abusing you. He certainly isnt trying to make your life better. Its a one way path of who is doing all the giving. You are.[/SIZE] My uneducatrd guess is that you two are enmeshed, bit it seems you are not getting much out of your relationship other than sadness and disappointment. It is a process, but my guess is you will eventually detach from his drama out of necessity. You will still love him but will not get as emotionally involved in his decisions. Sometimes trying to do too much for somebody holds the other person back, from growing up and from accepting responsibility for his actions and it can make us sick to try to fix another loved one. Stress makes us sick and doesnt help the other person. We cant fix another. Only the peRson can do that...fix himself. I recommend reading Codrpendent No More by Melody Beattie. Great book on codependence. Very helpful to many. Sorry you are sad. [/QUOTE]
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