brother in law is still here ugh

[DammitJanet]

He was supposed to be at work today so who knows now. Obviously cant get there. His "girl friend's" people wouldnt help them with any money to fix his car to get them back home. I think that was just rude. He has brought her down here at least 4 or 5 times...5 I think over this past summer and fall so she could see them and come to court and they cant help get them back to where they live? Hmmm. They also wont let him stay there.

Supposedly he is having to now wait for his paycheck to come but I think they dont get paid but every two weeks at BK and I dont think I can put up with him for two weeks. Maybe by chance he didnt get paid last week and it will come this week but then it will have to get mailed down here which will still put it coming probably no earlier than Tuesday with the holidays. I am gonna go crazy. There is no way we can afford to lend him the money and have him send it back because we have already lent him money before and he hasnt repaid us. I dont trust him to do it this time. It would be money blown and we dont have it to do that right now. If we had an extra 300 or so it would be okay but we dont.

Of course this also means we are having to feed him this entire time and he eats like crazy. I have to now make double what I normally make. He will eat as much as Tony and I combined. I dont know how I am gonna handle all this. Keyana is supposed to come spend the night with us Wednesday night and Thursday night but I dont know if that will be possible now with him here because he is using her bed. She can sleep on the couch I guess.

As we all know, I dont even do well with having to fix dinner for Tony. Now I have to do it for all of us and in front of his brother whom I dont much like. Now Tony sits out there and talks to him all evening and doesnt talk to me at all except to come in my bedroom at night and tell me its time for bed and then he falls asleep immediately. He has made some snide comments about how I am nothing like his sainted mother because they were talking about her cooking and stuff. I made the mistake of injecting that I most certainly never intended to cook that way and got lambasted for saying that. Evidently I am a lazy person who was raised not knowing what wifely duties are. Sigh.

 

[DDD]

Darn. Can't brother in law cook for you all?

How was Sunday with Keyana? Did I miss a post about it? Hoping it was great. Hugs. DDD

 

[KTMom91]

I'm sorry, Janet. Hope brother in law goes home soon.

 

[buddy]

uggg, get him a bus ticket.

 

[1905]

Well you put him to work! Those rooms you need cleaning out??? You just got a worker. How much will he need to get the heck out? Let him earn that....HOW RUDE OF HIM by the way......Yes, you think of some chores you know Billy will never do, act like they're great fun and get the man started.

 

[Steely]

OMG if someone talked about my cooking like that I would blow a gasket. You are being a patient woman. I would absolutely tell him that if continues to stay he can cook his own food, buy his own food, or earn it by doing house chores................or buy him a bus ticket - but I bet he wouldn't go for that since his car is there. What is wrong with the car? Can't Tony fix it?

 

[shellyd67]

Janet you are better than me !!! I would pretend my house was haunted and scare the sh** out of them !!! They would go running home and leave their broken down bucket of bolts behind !

 

[Wiped Out]

I agree I wouldn't be cooking any more meals for them!

 

[DammitJanet]

Tony cant fix it for several reasons namely being we are broke. Plus Tony can do some things under a hood but not major repairs and it appears this may be major. We are thinking it may be in two areas...water pump which isnt so major but also in the fuel system which is a bigger issue on this car because of where it is located. Plus the issue of why so much oil is all over the motor itself. Taking a bus home is not doable because its the two of them and we arent paying. Like I said before, he wont pay us back and his car is here. Hmmm...maybe he should call his church! I have suggested Tony call his brothers and sister but he wont. I have no idea why when all he does is tell me I dont understand what its like to have family because Im an only child. Argh. I cant win in this argument. We end up fighting because I say this isnt happening again, his brother cannot come down and stay with us again and he says I cant tell him that. Well then we have a problem. Actually we do have a big big problem. Seeing as how we really are not married, we are not related to each other. I own the house we live in, he owns the land my house is sitting on. Catch 22. I can tell someone to get out of my house, he can tell me to get off his land. Sigh. Believe me, these threats have been thrown around in the past 72 hours.

 

[mstang67chic]

Ok, first of all......go into difficult child mode. If he doesn't like your cooking......he can find his own bleeping food. If Tony doesn't like THAT, he can be reminded you are no one's maid/cook/servant. As for Keyena visiting.....it's HER bed. Make HIM sleep on the couch. As for his brothers and sisters.....if Tony won't call.....tell brother in law to do it. If HE won't....surprise them both and show them that you know how to work those new fangled telephone thingies. If they don't like THAT....tell them both to stick it.

 

[Hound dog]

Janet two words for you :

TRAVELERS AIDE!!!!!

Look them up and CALL THEM! They will pay for their bus ride home. Seriously! Remember? That is who paid for katie and M and the kids to travel here.

Call them and don't delay and don't take NO for an answer when it comes to brother in law. Why? You have no clue when the man is getting paid. And god forbid what if he still can't afford the repairs. (I mean c'mon this is BK not a real good paying job) And yeah, that sounds like major car work.........like in his car might just be DOA and you stuck with them forever.

Once you get the PITA out of your house, the car is HIS problem. But I'm telling you I'd be showing Tony what a Class A witch with a mega captiol B I could be if he ever considered letting that man stay in my home again. ugh

You do realize this is somewhat a classic way for moochers to move in on people, right??

 

[DammitJanet]

Yes I know that Lisa and I would have been more leery of that if he had more clothes with him. He only came with 2 shirts and one pair of pants and a lightweight jacket so I dont think he was intending on staying long. Of course I havent seen inside his trunk! I still havent met this girl and I am not sure Tony has. Tony had to take Buck to these peoples house the other night for him to talk to them about the car situation. Buck wanted us to let him borrow our truck and let him drive over there alone. hahahaha...NO. I dont loan out my cars. Heck, I dont even know if he has a license. Tony drove him but Buck didnt want him to see inside. Who knows why.

 

[Hound dog]

Hmm. This is starting to sound more than a bit weird. I certainly hope his trunk is empty. I'd push using the traveler's aide so he can get back to work before he gets fired.

Lord, what a mess!

((hugs))

 

[Steely]

Hugs Janet....I am so sorry you're having to endure this crapola from a so called family member. I pray Godspeed that BILs car and issues will be resolved.

 

[susiestar]

If he works at BK and didn't make it home for his shift then he is already fired. Call all Tony's sibs and tell htem that they either pay for Buck to fix the car or else Buck will be dropped on their doorstep in 2 days (then DO THAT). Or call Traveller's Aide for help the way Lisa suggested.

Tell Tony that you know where he sleeps and he better stop telling you that you are not a good wife because you have a frying pan and know how to use it to discipline men. He has to sleep sometime and you can make that sleep VERY unpleasant and hard to get - just keep waking him up to go tell buck something or else use t hat frying pan on his noggin when he is asleep. If he is dumb enough to say stuff about you being a bad cook then he has begged you to hit him upside the head with that frying pan when he isn't expecting it, Know what I mean??

Who CARES where Buck goes? Tell Buck he must leave tomorrow and then don't let him in. He can sleep in his car. If he stays much longer than you might have to actually legally evict him and I KNOW you are going to hate giving him 30 days. Tell Tony that enough is enough and you won't tolerate this guy in your home and if Tony chooses him over you then Tony better not expect to get away with-o paying allimony and giving you HALF of the land because you are common law married and he has called you his wife in the past and it will stick in court and you WILL get half the land, so he best think before he tells his bro that he can stay because you are DONE with having him there and having him not contribute to anything and having him use you and Tony and if Buck wants to be wth this chick then he and the chick can figure out where he should stay because your home is NOT it esp with the way he has treated you.

I am not kidding. You have a LOT more power in this than you are using. Go in the middle of the night and wake up Buck every time he goes to sleep and tell him you need him to do this or that RIGHT NOW. If you make him do chores he will leave. Then when he complains to Tony, tell Tony that Buck must be drinking because you slept all night and don't know what he is talking about. IT isn't hard to make someone seem crazy. Accuse Buck of trying to get Tony to leave you, etc..... You have had plenty of times of manipulating people in the past. This guy is moving into your home and won't leave so he has ASKED for it. Be up front with wanting him to go (to him, not just to Tony) and then start playing with him.

After all, why have crazy in-laws if you can't amuse yourself with them?

OK, not very adult, but sometimes being an adult just gets you messed over. I am serious about having to do a formal eviction. I would be surprised if it hasn't at least occurred to him as this IS a classic mooching thing.

 

[DammitJanet]

I havent ever told the entire story of my role in Tony's family or everything about our entire lives on here because most of it isnt relevant to the kids we talk about. I cannot be common law with Tony. Not only is there no common law in NC but if we ever declared ourselves common law I would lose my benefits but I would be in huge trouble with the IRS because of some issues with Tony. I cant go there. Buck isnt worth that. Also when I say that this is Tony's land, it is actually heir property left to all 6 of the kids from Tony's mother. Tony is the only one who has ever shown any interest in it and he has paid the taxes on it for the last 30 years. Before that, their grandmother paid them out of the tobacco allotment and then she sold that when Tony took them over when he was 18. None of his brothers or his sister ever wanted to come down and live on this land. We didnt think we did either but Tony didnt want it to be lost. Eventually our kids will pay it I suppose or it will get lost. We had to have his brothers and sister sign a paper so we could move on it though. That was a pain. They still hold it over my head that they can toss me off if anything happens to Tony. Only one of his brothers actually somewhat likes me and that is his baby brother. I refuse to even step foot into the Greenville SC area. I feel it is hostile territory.

I get very worried and concerned when his family who havent paid us a bit of attention suddenly start showing up at our house all in one summer. That spells trouble to me. Tony is convinced I just dont understand family and family ties. Maybe. I am not convinced.

However, I do have to walk fairly softly because I cant just move a doublewide mobile home on a moments notice without money. His family can band together and force us off the property. They have threatened me on the phone. Tony thinks I am exaggerating because he didnt hear the phone call and his sister denies it. He thinks she said something just not as bad as I say. Sigh.

 

[buddy]

man oh man Janet. I would feel so stuck in that situation. Since Tony pays the taxes alone doesn't that give him any more rights to the land? Can he leave his portion to the kids or to you....??? (in the event of his untimely death, heaven forbid) NO way to protect his portion of it? I know nothing of land ownership and how things are passed. I mean I owned a house but nothing like this....

 

[Hound dog]

If Tony is the only one paying taxes on the land.........it may be that in the eyes of the law, that land is now his. Something BOTH you and Tony need to ask a lawyer about. Otherwise, his sibs owe him probably a small fortune in back taxes. I say this because........this is how an uncle of mine used to acquire real estate dirt cheap. He'd wait until someone hadn't paid their taxes in a year or so, then go pay them and the land would revert to him. This is Illinois, but you never know, could be there too. I know katie lost the house her grandfather left to her due to someone else paying her back taxes.

No answers for ya. Other than I'd be making both Tony's and bro's lives miserable in a million teeny ways they couldn't pin on me cuz they'd have no proof......but they'd know. (yes, I'm evil when I want to be)

So why won't bro call traveler's aide an at least get a ride back home?

 

[1905]

Start looking stuff up about back taxes and see if they even have any more stake in the land. If they don't, then it would go to your kids -not them- if something should happen to Tony. He can transfer the land right now to your kids if thats the case. He needs to, to protect you and your kids land, to prevent them from coming in and making trouble for all of you. And if something happens to the both of you, he has to protect your kids property now. Tony's relatives will come right there and take it, your kids won't know what to do.

Throw a tent out there, let him stay on the land.....

 

[DammitJanet]

We will look into that...thanks for those ideas, good to even know that could be out there.

Now as far as brother in law and car, from what we understand his fuel system is okay but its his water pump that is now frozen. We think he messed that up badly because when he was constantly cranking the engine that first day it was spewing water and he wasnt putting water back in the car...sigh. Idiot. We had found out one of the first problems was he had run the car slam out of gas so there wasnt any gas in it and the whole fuel system seized. The man shouldnt have a car. Of course, he hasnt said anything this whole time about it only being the water pump until yesterday when Billy asked him and then Billy said well have you called to see how much it would cost...NO. Billy said, well lets look online to see. Ok...Its about 25 for the whole kit and caboodle. Now maybe Tony can fix it today or tomorrow. Dont know. I think Billy may give us the money...lol.