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Bullying by peers even worse for mental health than abuse by parents
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<blockquote data-quote="SuZir" data-source="post: 655669" data-attributes="member: 14557"><p>Of course no reason to minimize the effects of abusive parents have on child, but considering how little is actually done to protect kids from peer violence, this research finding is rather shocking: <a href="http://www.thelancet.com/journals/lanpsy/article/PIIS2215-0366%2815%2900165-0/abstract" target="_blank">http://www.thelancet.com/journals/lanpsy/article/PIIS2215-0366(15)00165-0/abstract</a></p><p></p><p>Worst off are of course those who get the double whammy and are abused at home and bullied in school, but just being bullied by peers, even when your home life is absolutely fine, makes it more likely you will suffer long term issues and have more mental health issues (depression, anxiety, self-harm) than if you are not bullied but are maltreated at home. </p><p></p><p>In my country there has been this project that seems to reduce bullying at least somewhat, but it has lots of critics, because it is targeted more to to deal with kids who enable and facilitate bullying than straight out solutions of removing 'the one' bully from the school. And of course it isn't perfect, it reduces bullying, and doesn't end it. And only works to problems of isolating a victim with young kids, when kids get older, the victims of major bullying are usually so ostracised that about everyone in the school or group consider them bad kids, weird, stinky, awful and nasty, even if they don't actually know them at all. And kids do not even recognize they are actually bullying those kids, because in stereotypes a bullied kid is this nice kid, whom is bullied by couple mean kids, when the reality of severe bullying is usually something totally different. More typically the victim isn't 'nice', in fact there often is a reason they attract bullies. Their social skills may be lacking, they may actually smell, they may be reactive and lash out and be mean and vast majority of the kids do consider them pariah and take part to bullying one way or another, also the nice kids, who pride themselves of being nice and protecting those bullied. </p><p></p><p>When for example my kid's belongings were often stolen and broken, none of his schoolmates would talk to him if they were not planning to taunt him or use him and his head was regularly stuffed into the toilet bowl and he was other ways physically assaulted, he and his classmates were asked anonymously, if someone in their class was bullied. Some bullying was reported by kids, one of the boys had called one girl a who** and two girls were being mean to each others according to the class. None of the kids mentioned my son being bullied (not even he, he was way too ashamed to admit it.) And when some of the incidents were being sorted out by teachers and us parents, kids who bullied my son never recognized it to be bullying, because they considered my son to be so nasty, such a bad kid, that they were in their rights to teach him a lesson (or thousand.) </p><p></p><p>While people admit bullying is bad (though some still consider it kids being kids and not that serious), it seems that schools and society are doing very little to actually reduce it. And victims will pay price of that long till the adulthood.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="SuZir, post: 655669, member: 14557"] Of course no reason to minimize the effects of abusive parents have on child, but considering how little is actually done to protect kids from peer violence, this research finding is rather shocking: [URL]http://www.thelancet.com/journals/lanpsy/article/PIIS2215-0366%2815%2900165-0/abstract[/URL] Worst off are of course those who get the double whammy and are abused at home and bullied in school, but just being bullied by peers, even when your home life is absolutely fine, makes it more likely you will suffer long term issues and have more mental health issues (depression, anxiety, self-harm) than if you are not bullied but are maltreated at home. In my country there has been this project that seems to reduce bullying at least somewhat, but it has lots of critics, because it is targeted more to to deal with kids who enable and facilitate bullying than straight out solutions of removing 'the one' bully from the school. And of course it isn't perfect, it reduces bullying, and doesn't end it. And only works to problems of isolating a victim with young kids, when kids get older, the victims of major bullying are usually so ostracised that about everyone in the school or group consider them bad kids, weird, stinky, awful and nasty, even if they don't actually know them at all. And kids do not even recognize they are actually bullying those kids, because in stereotypes a bullied kid is this nice kid, whom is bullied by couple mean kids, when the reality of severe bullying is usually something totally different. More typically the victim isn't 'nice', in fact there often is a reason they attract bullies. Their social skills may be lacking, they may actually smell, they may be reactive and lash out and be mean and vast majority of the kids do consider them pariah and take part to bullying one way or another, also the nice kids, who pride themselves of being nice and protecting those bullied. When for example my kid's belongings were often stolen and broken, none of his schoolmates would talk to him if they were not planning to taunt him or use him and his head was regularly stuffed into the toilet bowl and he was other ways physically assaulted, he and his classmates were asked anonymously, if someone in their class was bullied. Some bullying was reported by kids, one of the boys had called one girl a who** and two girls were being mean to each others according to the class. None of the kids mentioned my son being bullied (not even he, he was way too ashamed to admit it.) And when some of the incidents were being sorted out by teachers and us parents, kids who bullied my son never recognized it to be bullying, because they considered my son to be so nasty, such a bad kid, that they were in their rights to teach him a lesson (or thousand.) While people admit bullying is bad (though some still consider it kids being kids and not that serious), it seems that schools and society are doing very little to actually reduce it. And victims will pay price of that long till the adulthood. [/QUOTE]
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