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Bullying by peers even worse for mental health than abuse by parents
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 655851" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Suzir, some bystandsers laugh. But I know Jumper has witnessed bullying and has both intervened and just walked away. You have to know Jumper...she is not a bully under any circumstances. But she sometimes plain doesn't want to get involved. She is also the one most vocal against the bullying she has seen, but doesn't always do anything about it other than not participate or watch. </p><p></p><p>As a kid, even though I was bullied (my biggest offense were my poor social skills and being stick skinny and kind of dorky looking) I would definitely enjoy watching somebody else being bullied to a point. I'd be thinking, "Thank God it's not me." I did not go up to kids and bully t hem and never would have, but I didn't try to stop it either. In high school I plain just didn't see much bullying as I was a loner and stuck to my very small threesome of friends who were all younger than me and I'd already decided that people packs, much like dog packs, turn on each other, back bite, and, yes, bully even their friends. I still believe that groups of people can't avoid the urge to gossip against one another, bully each other with a smile, and talk behind people's backs, which is why I prefer a few friends only who don't know one another. </p><p></p><p>Insane, you're right about workplace and adult group bullying. If parents do it, of course their kids will think it's ok. </p><p></p><p>I don't know if bullying will ever stop. Adults are learning how to empower themselves against bullies and maybe this teaching will trickle down to the kids. They need coping skills against bullies, just like adults do. Schools need to get more involved. Ban a bully from prom or homecomiing or playing sports (in the U.S. these are major events). </p><p></p><p>Once in a while k ids are cool and take a stand, if not against bullying, then toward fairness...without adult help. I will never forget the when I was in highschool (in which I had NO interest in things like prom and homecoming) I was still aware that a very shy girl, mildly pretty, was recruited for homecoming queen by some of the so-called popular kids, who were really just the kids who did the most acitivities in school and thought they were big shots. They were the ones who cared the most about things like homecoming and it worked...she won. I remember being very happy for her. </p><p></p><p>But more often bullying happens rather than empowering a shy student. And, yeah, it would be a better world if parents didn't bully their kids, if teachers soemtimes didnt' bully kids (this also happens), if adults didn't bully adults, and if we had a bully-free world. Unfortunately, right now the best we can do is to teach our kids how to defend ourselves with words and to learn how to defend ourselves so that our kids can see that we handle bullying too.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 655851, member: 1550"] Suzir, some bystandsers laugh. But I know Jumper has witnessed bullying and has both intervened and just walked away. You have to know Jumper...she is not a bully under any circumstances. But she sometimes plain doesn't want to get involved. She is also the one most vocal against the bullying she has seen, but doesn't always do anything about it other than not participate or watch. As a kid, even though I was bullied (my biggest offense were my poor social skills and being stick skinny and kind of dorky looking) I would definitely enjoy watching somebody else being bullied to a point. I'd be thinking, "Thank God it's not me." I did not go up to kids and bully t hem and never would have, but I didn't try to stop it either. In high school I plain just didn't see much bullying as I was a loner and stuck to my very small threesome of friends who were all younger than me and I'd already decided that people packs, much like dog packs, turn on each other, back bite, and, yes, bully even their friends. I still believe that groups of people can't avoid the urge to gossip against one another, bully each other with a smile, and talk behind people's backs, which is why I prefer a few friends only who don't know one another. Insane, you're right about workplace and adult group bullying. If parents do it, of course their kids will think it's ok. I don't know if bullying will ever stop. Adults are learning how to empower themselves against bullies and maybe this teaching will trickle down to the kids. They need coping skills against bullies, just like adults do. Schools need to get more involved. Ban a bully from prom or homecomiing or playing sports (in the U.S. these are major events). Once in a while k ids are cool and take a stand, if not against bullying, then toward fairness...without adult help. I will never forget the when I was in highschool (in which I had NO interest in things like prom and homecoming) I was still aware that a very shy girl, mildly pretty, was recruited for homecoming queen by some of the so-called popular kids, who were really just the kids who did the most acitivities in school and thought they were big shots. They were the ones who cared the most about things like homecoming and it worked...she won. I remember being very happy for her. But more often bullying happens rather than empowering a shy student. And, yeah, it would be a better world if parents didn't bully their kids, if teachers soemtimes didnt' bully kids (this also happens), if adults didn't bully adults, and if we had a bully-free world. Unfortunately, right now the best we can do is to teach our kids how to defend ourselves with words and to learn how to defend ourselves so that our kids can see that we handle bullying too. [/QUOTE]
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