Bullying

[moon]

Hi
I'm new to this but at the end of my patience and looking for help. I have a child who is and has been really difficult but is now bullying her younger sister. From what I read she probably has ODD or conduct disorder but I hate labels and medication so have tried to resolve myself but no effect. I have done counselling ranging from play therapy to family counselling but little effect. I am really worried about going to GP and having her labelled and put in the system as a child with problems. She does really well in school academically - its just behaviour at home is problem and causing a real issue with her younger sister who is the victim. All the attention has been on the problem child and the younger one is really suffering. Don't know what to do for the best.....

 

[BusynMember]

Where do you live? There is varying help depending on your country. Yes, every country is different (sigh).

Canada is similar to the US and we have some good parents here who can help you from Canada. The UK and Australia, for example, are way different, but we do have a few parents from there who can probably set you in the right direction if you are from anywhere around there.

 

[InsaneCdn]

I get the impression she has always been difficult? that this isn't something new, rather, the bullying is new?

If so... she may be dealing with all sorts of challenges, none of which you are aware of. Rather than seeking solutions to the behavior, maybe you need to look at the big picture? Often, a solid comprehensive evaluation can provide a frame work and some basic answers, to give you a start on approaching the problem differently.

 

[DDD]

Sending support your way. Although I understand your hesitancy and fear of "labeling"....you honestly can't sacrafice your younger child's future in order to protect your older child's "reputation". Early intervention is totally needed to have your younger child feel safe and secure and self confident. The preferred option, in my humble opinion, is to seek out the best professional help you can access. If you can't (or won't) do that then perhaps your older child needs to go from the school day straight to after school daycare and understand that you will not allow abuse in your home. It is, in my humble opinion, imperative that you totally protect your younger child no matter what it takes. Sorry to sound negative but this is my honest opinion after over fifty years of childrearing. Hugs. DDD