As you know, when it is too good to be true.....well, it is too good to be true. difficult child had a rough week and had an attitude. Ended up banned for 48 hours but was allowed to go back yesterday between 5 and 6pm. I didn't know about it until the morning after she had been banned and I was instantly freaking out. She told me she was staying with her sober friend (who really is sober) and that she was most definitely going back on Thursday because "believe it or not, I do not want to jeopardize my relationship with you all". So yesterday I wake up and check the phone records and difficult child has been on the phone all night - that is always a sign to me that she is using. I call her and she says she is fine and that she has the power to heal and that she was healing. She sounded so clear like she has all month being sober that I believed her. I hear her preaching to others trying to get them to go to rehab so I thought that is what she had been doing. So yesterday afternoon rolls around and I am trying to get a hold of her so I can bring her back. I can't reach her. I call her sober friend who told me that she did stay with him the first night but that last night she asked to be brought somewhere else and she stayed there. Instantly, I didn't feel good about this, I am panicking, but difficult child ended up calling me and I went to get her and we headed back to rehab. On the way she was telling me how sad she was to see her friends wasting their lives and how one friend has begun prostituting herself for drugs. She told me she was trying to get her to go to rehab, too, but that she was just not ready yet. The way she was talking made me proud - thought she was really trying to help people while she was out. So then I get a text from the program director last night saying that difficult child had obviously relapsed. That she was very angry and argumentative. That it was normal in behavior modification and that she would be better in a few days. She just wanted me to be aware so we could all be in prayer. The director says she truly believes difficult child wants to be sober and help others. That the fact that she was honest with her and is back at the program is a huge positive sign and she is super proud of her but that the next few days are critical for difficult child's sobriety. She says recovery is a fluid motion constantly changing and that once in a while there can be a slip but as long as that person uses it to catapult them forward, it is just another chapter in the book of their sobriety. Please pray my difficult child really wants her sobriety and gets back on track without getting banned from the program again...if she goes back to that life, I will have to turn my back on her. My health is not getting any better and I just can't put myself through this anymore.