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Buying cars for our difficult children...discussion
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<blockquote data-quote="CrazyinVA" data-source="post: 644291" data-attributes="member: 1157"><p>My car stories:</p><p></p><p>Oldest: When my parents stopped driving, they signed their car over to me. I let Oldest use it. Then one morning I noticed her trunk was open, so I went to close it - and found a couple of six packs in the trunk (she was under 21). I went inside and demanded the keys, meaning to take the car away temporarily as a "natural consequence." She threw such a tantrum, refusing to give me the keys, that I took it away permanently and sold it - this was a few months before she moved out (got kicked out). For a while after that she found cars through various means (one she bought at one of those high interest places, but it was repossessed, a couple were borrowed). Her license was suspended for not paying insurance and she moved downtown so she could be on the bus line, and lived that way for years. A couple years ago I made her a deal that if she would save money towards a car for three months, I'd match whatever she saved so she could use it as a down payment. I kept my promise and she bought another vehicle from a friend.</p><p></p><p>Youngest: I bought her a cheap, old car because of doctor appts etc. after she got pregnant. I had taken too much time off work getting her to and from appts., and didn't want her using my car. Then, the car seat wouldn't fit in the back (it was an old Sentra, before car seats got so dang huge) so I sold it, used the cash down on a new car for me, let her use mine (it was paid off). She drove that until her boyfriend totaled it. The story gets too convoluted after that.</p><p></p><p>The grandkid(s) definitely swayed my decision to give Youngest a car at first .. but taking them to appointments myself was not an option as far as I was concerned. First, because I couldn't afford the time off from work, and second, because it would start a pattern of me taking care of those kids that would dissuade her from being a responsible parent. I made her pay the insurance on the vehicle (she didn't always have enough to cover it, but she made the effort as often as she could). If she hadn't gotten pregnant, would have been a completely different story.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="CrazyinVA, post: 644291, member: 1157"] My car stories: Oldest: When my parents stopped driving, they signed their car over to me. I let Oldest use it. Then one morning I noticed her trunk was open, so I went to close it - and found a couple of six packs in the trunk (she was under 21). I went inside and demanded the keys, meaning to take the car away temporarily as a "natural consequence." She threw such a tantrum, refusing to give me the keys, that I took it away permanently and sold it - this was a few months before she moved out (got kicked out). For a while after that she found cars through various means (one she bought at one of those high interest places, but it was repossessed, a couple were borrowed). Her license was suspended for not paying insurance and she moved downtown so she could be on the bus line, and lived that way for years. A couple years ago I made her a deal that if she would save money towards a car for three months, I'd match whatever she saved so she could use it as a down payment. I kept my promise and she bought another vehicle from a friend. Youngest: I bought her a cheap, old car because of doctor appts etc. after she got pregnant. I had taken too much time off work getting her to and from appts., and didn't want her using my car. Then, the car seat wouldn't fit in the back (it was an old Sentra, before car seats got so dang huge) so I sold it, used the cash down on a new car for me, let her use mine (it was paid off). She drove that until her boyfriend totaled it. The story gets too convoluted after that. The grandkid(s) definitely swayed my decision to give Youngest a car at first .. but taking them to appointments myself was not an option as far as I was concerned. First, because I couldn't afford the time off from work, and second, because it would start a pattern of me taking care of those kids that would dissuade her from being a responsible parent. I made her pay the insurance on the vehicle (she didn't always have enough to cover it, but she made the effort as often as she could). If she hadn't gotten pregnant, would have been a completely different story. [/QUOTE]
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