Call from difficult child's bus driver

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Cathyliz, Nov 14, 2008.

  1. Cathyliz

    Cathyliz aka Superwoman

    Last night we got a call from difficult child's bus driver. husband answered the phone. He said the first thing out of her mouth (after telling him who she was) was "There was an incident on the bus yesterday." husband was like, oh, now what. She then went on to tell husband that ANOTHER child lost his mind and our difficult child was absolutely wonderful! He did everything she asked him to do, he stayed calm, he was helpful and she's never had a child on her bus as respectful and wonderful as him. husband almost asked if she'd called the right house! lol difficult child's been at this school and on this bus for 8 days now. He is still in that honeymoon phase and they haven't seen his true colors yet, but dang it's good to get some good news every now and then! Even if we do know it probably won't last! :raspberry:

    I just had to share. We all need a little pick me up at times. :)
  2. trinityroyal

    trinityroyal Well-Known Member

    Cathy, isn't it wonderful when The Call From The Bus Driver is GOOD news!

    So glad that your difficult child was able to handle himself so well in a crisis.
    Long may the honeymoon phase last...

  3. maril

    maril New Member

    Good for him!!! It is so nice to hear the positives, isn't it? I got a boost earlier this week when a friend called to say my difficult child stopped in passing to help the friend's ailing dad with yard work. Gives us hope.
  4. Cathy,

    I know that you and husband are very proud. Enjoy the good times and the good news. You deserve it!
  5. crazymama30

    crazymama30 Active Member

    Wow, I saw your title and just cringed inside. My own difficult child had such problems on the bus, that it brought back flashbacks. I am so glad you got a kudos for your difficult child. Make sure to tell him how impressed the bus driver was with him, our kids do not get enough positive reinforcement, in my humble opinion.
  6. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Cathy, whew! You had me going there. What a relief.
    Nice bus driver, to think to call you and offer a compliment. Way To Go.
  7. threebabygirls

    threebabygirls New Member

    I agree that our difficult child's do not receive enough positive reinforcement. I heap mine with it every chance we get.
    And, as a bus driver, I make it a point to tell to my difficult child passengers when they are making good choices, and if I see any members of their families out and about, I make sure to tell them as well.
  8. Nancy423

    Nancy423 do I have to be the mom?

    YAY! Yes, it's always nice to hear our child did GOOD. I too think they don't hear enough positive stuff.
  9. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    It's so nice to get the good phone calls! Kudos to difficult child!
  10. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    What a great phone call to receive! Yeah for difficult child!
  11. Marguerite

    Marguerite Active Member

    A number of things come out of this for me:

    1) This is wonderful news to hear. All too often, the only time anyone speaks up is to say something negative tat they want us to "fix".

    2) That means that perhaps we need to do something positive in response to this good news - pass on the good vibes. Congratulate difficult child on being so helpful.

    3) Take it further. Try to make a point of saying something positive (and true) to a total stranger (if possible) every day. For example, if you see a woman ahead of you in the supermarket who is wearing a lovely shirt, or a pretty brooch, or whose hair is a lovely colour, or someone who for whatever good reason catches your eye, then share it with them. "That is a lovely colour on you," can really lift someone's spirits. Too often we're suspicious of other people instead of recognising that they are like us and need love and compassion too.

    Yesterday there was another small local art gallery open day and we visited briefly with difficult child 3. Because it was noisy he only stayed a few minutes then chose to go sit in the car. However, in that time he spoke to a former teacher from the local school who is married to the bus driver.
    Some time later as the crowd cleared, the bus driver came up to speak to me. "My wife enjoyed talking to difficult child 3," he said. "My, that boy has grown! I remember when he was so small and always getting picked on. Those horrible kids would start something, it was never difficult child 3 but they always said it was."
    I explained how they got away with this constantly at the local school and how I had too often believed the school myself (or had to give them the benefit of the doubt). I also remembered how this driver had made a point of insisting that difficult child 3 sit either beside him, or right behind him where he could be watched - I had thought it was because he didn't trust difficult child 3, but it was in fact to be able to witness that difficult child 3 wasn't the troublemaker; and to also keep him safe from the bullies.
    I also remembered the phone calls from school claiming that the bus driver had complained about difficult child 3 - I had never received a complaining call from the driver himself. So now I wonder - was the school responding to a report from the driver of an incident where difficult child 3 was attacked, and the school then blamed difficult child 3 on the say-so of the other kid? THAT I know happened far too much.

    So the final point here - always recognise that somewhere inside, you have a good kid who wants to fit in and to be seen as a worthwhile person. And chances are, he may not always be the problem that others see him to be.