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<blockquote data-quote="toughlovin" data-source="post: 637917" data-attributes="member: 15801"><p>Day - Ah I totally get what you are going through. One of the things that happened when we had to tell my son he could not live here in anymore is that I got my home as a sanctuary back. I found I really like being at home..... so instead of looking forward to Monday mornings when i had to go to work and get out of the house I cherished my weekends again! It is much easier and more peaceful not having my difficult child here at home! Much more and that i just a fact. Now it has been a few years and my difficult child is now 23 and we would not want him living at home again! I do not want to give up my sanctuary ever again.</p><p></p><p>As to the question of normal teen and difficulty for parents. I think there is normal conflict and angst with teens and parents...... and then there is difficult child conflict and angst. The degree is so different. I have a younger easy child daughter who is no win college. Yes there were some conflicts and some annoyances etc etc. but we also had a really close relationship through her teen years. We did not have this huge divide, I didnt have to hide my wallet and my car keys, she let me know where she was and when she would be home, I didnt feel a need to invade her privacy just to make sure she was safe. It just was a whole different experience. In fact I really enjoyed her teen years as I watched her blossom and become her own person. She is now in college and I am enjoying our empty nest....but if she needed to live at home again it would not be a problem because she does not mess up my home as a sanctuary.</p><p></p><p>I have at times talked to other parents of normal teens whose kids are driving them nuts.... and again the level of stuff they are talking about is so minute compared to what we deal with with difficult children..... it just is not the same.</p><p></p><p>Enjoy (as much as you can) the peace you feel at home right now and do not feel any guilty about it either!! This is a tough ride and so when we get a patch where we know they are safe then take it to recharge for the rough rides that may be ahead.</p><p></p><p>TL</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="toughlovin, post: 637917, member: 15801"] Day - Ah I totally get what you are going through. One of the things that happened when we had to tell my son he could not live here in anymore is that I got my home as a sanctuary back. I found I really like being at home..... so instead of looking forward to Monday mornings when i had to go to work and get out of the house I cherished my weekends again! It is much easier and more peaceful not having my difficult child here at home! Much more and that i just a fact. Now it has been a few years and my difficult child is now 23 and we would not want him living at home again! I do not want to give up my sanctuary ever again. As to the question of normal teen and difficulty for parents. I think there is normal conflict and angst with teens and parents...... and then there is difficult child conflict and angst. The degree is so different. I have a younger easy child daughter who is no win college. Yes there were some conflicts and some annoyances etc etc. but we also had a really close relationship through her teen years. We did not have this huge divide, I didnt have to hide my wallet and my car keys, she let me know where she was and when she would be home, I didnt feel a need to invade her privacy just to make sure she was safe. It just was a whole different experience. In fact I really enjoyed her teen years as I watched her blossom and become her own person. She is now in college and I am enjoying our empty nest....but if she needed to live at home again it would not be a problem because she does not mess up my home as a sanctuary. I have at times talked to other parents of normal teens whose kids are driving them nuts.... and again the level of stuff they are talking about is so minute compared to what we deal with with difficult children..... it just is not the same. Enjoy (as much as you can) the peace you feel at home right now and do not feel any guilty about it either!! This is a tough ride and so when we get a patch where we know they are safe then take it to recharge for the rough rides that may be ahead. TL [/QUOTE]
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