Call me crazy - never hosted a holiday - gulp

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by Steely, Nov 23, 2011.

  1. Steely

    Steely Active Member

    Hi, I am Steely, I am 44, and I have never hosted a holiday. (Think of the AA mantra).

    Yes, embarrassing but true.

    My Mom is the hostess. She is the one who hosts the holidays at HER house. I have always had cats and she is allergic, so it had to be at her house, plus she loves putting on parties. (Perhaps I need a cat again.) Or if we didn't go to my Mom's we went to the inlaws when I was married, or when Matt was away, I would just go to a friends and we would eat tv dinners.

    Anyway - so now that I have a large house that my mom lives part time in - we are having the T-Day here. I am already really irritable. Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) about cleaning everything. Matt is here with his 2 dogs, and in my space. Later my Mom is arriving, and she called to tell me she invited 2 more people for tomorrow, and a fourth dog. I feel a panic attack coming on. LOL

    Seriously - I think I will be OK. Maybe it will be fun - If I can stop obsessing on the house, tripping over dogs, and not feel like all these people in my house are going to suffocate me. I am going to see my counselor right now!

    Happy Thanksgiving Everyone - Love You Guys!
    I would feel much better if my CD family would be coming to my house for a partee!!!:thanksgiving11:
  2. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip


    You'll be fine.

    And... Matt doesn't care, right? And if your Mom lives with you part time - don't go past that. Hide stuff if you need to. Focus on the camaraderie & food.

    I say this like I do it, huh?! LOL

    Have a wonderful holiday. You deserve it!
  3. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    Oh, but we are, didn't we tell you?

    As in... if it gets a bit overwhelming and you have to escape, you can always come here and vent, breathe the rejuvenating air, and then return the the "front lines"...
  4. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    You'll do fine. I bet you've cooked the dishes a bunch of times in the past. Just don't aim to outdo Martha Stewart...or your Mom. You may even enjoy it, lol. Hugs. DDD
  5. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    Steely- I'm so proud of you and happy for you! I know you're nervous but this is a wonderful thing for you to do and I bet in the end, you realize it was more fun than you could have imagined. If you can handle this, you should try a regular dinner party or get together for 'something'. This is a great way for you to meet new people without the awkwardness of what to do if you don't like them. It could even be a good way for Matt to become more comfortable and meet new people. The first time I did something like that, I was a nervous wreck thinking nothing would be good enough, but people had fun. Those I found a 'connection' with would stay a little afterwards if I invited them and they wanted to stay and talk some more. It will be fine.

    Now, what should I bring and what time should I be there?
  6. Estherfromjerusalem

    Estherfromjerusalem Well-Known Member

    Steely, I'm already impatient to hear how it all went!

    Since I have such an enormous family (children and grandchildren) I am always "entertaining" -- cooking for hordes. I must admit I am lucky because I love cooking and baking. So good luck with it all, and I'd be interested afterwards to hear what you made and how you coped.

    Love, Esther
  7. HaoZi

    HaoZi Guest

    Good luck and hope it goes wonderfully. Outside of slumber parties when I was younger (and my weddings) the most I've hosted is two friends for a Superbowl. I've never cooked a turkey or a whole ham. Here, mac & cheese IS the dinner, not a side dish. A multi-course meal means we had dessert, too.
  8. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Take a deep breath and relax. No one is going to expect perfection.

    Reminds me of when mother in law stepped down from her role as holiday hostess. I wanted to cry. I mean this woman took "hostess" to amazing heights and I just knew I'd never measure up. I'd spent 20 yrs helping her but I just didn't feel ready to do it on my own.

    I'm several years into it now. Now, I don't think about it much. Thanksgiving is not my holiday at all. BUT the family comes together and visits and the grandkids are running around and the dogs get stuffed between what is dropped on the floor and leftovers from plates and the cats outside even get the carcass of the turkey...............and well heck, it's just nice and warm and fuzzy. And remember, I'm one who hates crowds.

    You can do it and it will be ok. :)
  9. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    You will be fine. Repeat after me: "If they don't think it is clean enough, they can clean it themselves. They are not coming to vsit my house, they are coming to visit ME and each other."

    Repeat whenever necessary. Make sure the bathroom is clean, there are places to sit, and that there is food. IF you drink wine, make sure there is some. Otherwise, make sure other things are there to drink. Especially coffee or hot tea or cocoa. For a great, EASY way to make the house smell good, toss some apple juice and cinnamon and nutmeg into a crock pot a few hours before they get there - or put it over low-medication heat until it is hot, then keep it at super low heat so it stays warm. FAST, easy, no big mess, and makes the yummy smell the focus, not the dust or lack thereof.

    Or put a cake in the oven, or even a loaf of frozen bread dough or rolls. there is a reason that realtors advise clients to do this - people focus on the yummy, inviting scent and NOT the lack of perfection. in my opinion perfection is highly over-rated.

    As long as you are not an big exhausted mess, the house is reasonably tidy, the bathroom is clean, and everyone has fun, the rest of it won't matter.

    One question - why did your mother invite the extra guests and their dog? Are they coming a great distance to see you, or s this some dog owner thing that I haven't heard of? I am NOT throwing stones, just wondering why because it is something new to me. We only had 1 dog growning up and husband and I haven't had good luck with dogs so we are sticking with cats.

    Don't worry about trying to do things the Martha Stewart way. Even Martha doesn't do them the Martha Stewart way - she makes her staff do it! Somehow I can't see your dogs making pretty displays of pumpkins and corn for a centerpiece, lighting candles, and making cute little napkin rings - can you??

    If you are cooking a turkey, do it in one of the oven bags. They make a HUGe difference. I used to do the Joy of cooking thing - Keep a linen towel over the turkey during much of the cooking, basting iwth oil or margarine or drippings every 30 minutes, blah blah blah. Now that DOES make a great turkey mostly. It is just a lot of work and you have a ruined linen or cotton (NOT the fuzzy terry cloth type) dish towel when you are done. The oven bag? SOOOOOOOO much easier. Self basting because the liquid can't evaporate, and it makes a very tender turkey with almost NO mess. Nothing burnt on the pan, etc....

    Just remember - HAVE FUN and don't do it all yourself. Put your mom, Matt, and yes, even the guests to work. It can make things more fun for all, and break the ice well.

  10. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    You will do great! I agree with the others about realizing they are here to visit you.

    I host Thanksgiving every year (one year husband's family, one year mine) and I've gotten much more lax as the years have gone on. I love to cook, love to have people over, but to be honest, this year I wish someone else was hosting I just don't have the energy.

    by the way, a friend of mine is hosting Thanksgiving this year and originally there were supposed to be about 15 or 16 people but people kept inviting other people and now they are up to 24!
  11. Steely

    Steely Active Member

    Oh Wiped I am freaking at 7 - I would never do 24!!!

    Susie - the dog is invited because the dog is ALWAYS with their owner. You get the 2 relatives AND the dog - wherever you go - even if it is to the supermarket. And no the dog is not a poodle - but - a Wemerainer (sp). SIGH....

    Oh well. Fortunately for Matt, me, and the dogs, I have a detached guest room where anyone or mammal can go if feeling overwhelmed. I believe that will be the key to all of this :)

    Thanks for all of the cooking advice - somehow I am more worried about the cleaning. Probably because my Mom is the neatest neat freak ever - but she is here now, and she is not even concerned that I think the windows need cleaning from muddy paw prints (I am sure she is humoring me - but I'll take it).

    Hey - InSane - I had the carpets cleaned and guess what - 90% of the stains came out!!! PERMANENTLY!!! YAY!!! (I don't think the landlord really ever cleaned them!) No more dalmatian house. :)