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Called the prison...could it be worse???
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 648615" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Tish, thank you!!!</p><p></p><p>I have to admit I tend to think logically and with realism. I don't look at my son and think, "I still have hope he will change." I stay in the now and look at the past to see the future, at his age anyway, and am not one who just blindly believes things will get better. My way of seeing life and people is "show me the money." Don't tell me you're going to change. Do it. And until you do it, I won't think about it. My logic drives Bart nutty!!! He wants me to sugar-coat his life and what may happen and I can't. I'm no good at painting pretty pictures of things that don't seem possible or haven't happened yet or that I can't see. Even my belief in a higher power is fueled by my experiences with the paranormal and afterlife. I can't believe in anythig that isn't proven to me.</p><p></p><p>Although I am very poor at sugarcoating, I am good at analyzing. I sometimes wonder if people here want the sugarcoating approach only. The fact is, all the young people on this board will not make it. Some will, some will be career drug users and criminals. Who will make it, it's impossible to tell. But steps in the right direction...a job, new friends, a new sense of responsibility, care about others are good signs that the person is maturing and outgrowing the self-destruction. I don't put much into what our little darlings say when they are locked up. I put faith into what they actually do once they are no longer in a regimented place. Honestly, I think some of our adult kids thrive in containment, even jail, because it is too hard for them to think and manage unless they have somebody else telling them what to do.</p><p></p><p>I have seen this pattern in my own dysfunctional family. I see constant patterns on this board as well. I have been here about ten years.</p><p></p><p>Maybe that's why I tend to be unable to feel the hope before it happens. I am such a cynic.Some of our grown kids do change, but it isn't because we give them second, third and tenth chances. That has cemented my belief that they do best when they have to figure it out on their own. Some do. Some have personality disorders that keep them in limbo forever. It is varied...there are young adults who made it whom I didn't think would and vice versa.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 648615, member: 1550"] Tish, thank you!!! I have to admit I tend to think logically and with realism. I don't look at my son and think, "I still have hope he will change." I stay in the now and look at the past to see the future, at his age anyway, and am not one who just blindly believes things will get better. My way of seeing life and people is "show me the money." Don't tell me you're going to change. Do it. And until you do it, I won't think about it. My logic drives Bart nutty!!! He wants me to sugar-coat his life and what may happen and I can't. I'm no good at painting pretty pictures of things that don't seem possible or haven't happened yet or that I can't see. Even my belief in a higher power is fueled by my experiences with the paranormal and afterlife. I can't believe in anythig that isn't proven to me. Although I am very poor at sugarcoating, I am good at analyzing. I sometimes wonder if people here want the sugarcoating approach only. The fact is, all the young people on this board will not make it. Some will, some will be career drug users and criminals. Who will make it, it's impossible to tell. But steps in the right direction...a job, new friends, a new sense of responsibility, care about others are good signs that the person is maturing and outgrowing the self-destruction. I don't put much into what our little darlings say when they are locked up. I put faith into what they actually do once they are no longer in a regimented place. Honestly, I think some of our adult kids thrive in containment, even jail, because it is too hard for them to think and manage unless they have somebody else telling them what to do. I have seen this pattern in my own dysfunctional family. I see constant patterns on this board as well. I have been here about ten years. Maybe that's why I tend to be unable to feel the hope before it happens. I am such a cynic.Some of our grown kids do change, but it isn't because we give them second, third and tenth chances. That has cemented my belief that they do best when they have to figure it out on their own. Some do. Some have personality disorders that keep them in limbo forever. It is varied...there are young adults who made it whom I didn't think would and vice versa. [/QUOTE]
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Called the prison...could it be worse???
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