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Calling all Grandparents....
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 724860" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>No offense meant...i am just trying to show some reality... but 21 is NOT a child. </p><p></p><p>My 21 year old daughter is engaged and finishing up the law enforcement curriculum in college, lives on her own, and understands birth control. She doesn't want to get pregnant before marriage and graduation...so she takes the shot. She does live with incredibly awesome, well employed, 25 year old fiance and works as well as going to school full time.</p><p></p><p>This is not the age or capability of a child. Society sees and expects 21 to be an adult. You can serve in the military and vote at 18. Many do.</p><p></p><p>Sadly, your daughter is a woman who makes poor decisions. Getting pregnant was one. It doesn't help our adult children when we think of them as children.</p><p></p><p>Second of all, your daughter is not yet fit to raise the baby. She is a drug addict and possibly even selling drugs. You know this is morally way wrong.</p><p></p><p>All drug addicts are immature, but that is on them in my opinion.That's why, legitimately, Dad has custody. There in my opinion is no big secret conspiracy to take this baby from your daughter and give his other grandma a new son. She is helping her son who has custody and she most likely loves the baby as much as you do. </p><p></p><p>The good news is baby is safe.</p><p></p><p>We have no rights to our biological family. Not legally. We control one person...us. Nobody else.</p><p></p><p>If you want to see your grandchild, maybe urge daughter to change her life, although I am sure you tried already. If you NEED to be angry, in my opinion it is daughter you should feel it towards.</p><p></p><p>She got pregnant by a man (22 is a man) who doesn't love her and she continued to use drugs WHILE PREGNANT. This will impact this little one forever. Daughter sadly has hurt her baby already, albeit I doubt she was thinking of it. But I adopted a baby whose birthmother took drugs during her pregnancy and this impacted him. He needed tons of school help and community interventions to become a mostly independent 24 year old. </p><p></p><p>The baby needs strong advocates and probably interventions starting at a very early age. My son's interventions started in infancy.</p><p></p><p>I know this is hurtful. I am sorry. I wish grandparents had rights. But we don't. And in most states Mom is not favored anymore. Dad and Mom are equal in court. The court awarded primary custody to the parent it felt would best care for baby....Dad. His mother is helping him. He is allowed to let her do it.</p><p></p><p>You would have helped Daughter. In fact, a drug addict is not able to be a good caretaker on any level.</p><p></p><p>Now there is hope. She can rehabilitate, go back to court, and get visitation and then you can be more involved.</p><p></p><p>I strongly suggest therapy to help you cope. This is a loss and you hurt and can't control the players. You need to care for yourself. Please do.</p><p></p><p>Hugs and love and I am so sorry.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 724860, member: 1550"] No offense meant...i am just trying to show some reality... but 21 is NOT a child. My 21 year old daughter is engaged and finishing up the law enforcement curriculum in college, lives on her own, and understands birth control. She doesn't want to get pregnant before marriage and graduation...so she takes the shot. She does live with incredibly awesome, well employed, 25 year old fiance and works as well as going to school full time. This is not the age or capability of a child. Society sees and expects 21 to be an adult. You can serve in the military and vote at 18. Many do. Sadly, your daughter is a woman who makes poor decisions. Getting pregnant was one. It doesn't help our adult children when we think of them as children. Second of all, your daughter is not yet fit to raise the baby. She is a drug addict and possibly even selling drugs. You know this is morally way wrong. All drug addicts are immature, but that is on them in my opinion.That's why, legitimately, Dad has custody. There in my opinion is no big secret conspiracy to take this baby from your daughter and give his other grandma a new son. She is helping her son who has custody and she most likely loves the baby as much as you do. The good news is baby is safe. We have no rights to our biological family. Not legally. We control one person...us. Nobody else. If you want to see your grandchild, maybe urge daughter to change her life, although I am sure you tried already. If you NEED to be angry, in my opinion it is daughter you should feel it towards. She got pregnant by a man (22 is a man) who doesn't love her and she continued to use drugs WHILE PREGNANT. This will impact this little one forever. Daughter sadly has hurt her baby already, albeit I doubt she was thinking of it. But I adopted a baby whose birthmother took drugs during her pregnancy and this impacted him. He needed tons of school help and community interventions to become a mostly independent 24 year old. The baby needs strong advocates and probably interventions starting at a very early age. My son's interventions started in infancy. I know this is hurtful. I am sorry. I wish grandparents had rights. But we don't. And in most states Mom is not favored anymore. Dad and Mom are equal in court. The court awarded primary custody to the parent it felt would best care for baby....Dad. His mother is helping him. He is allowed to let her do it. You would have helped Daughter. In fact, a drug addict is not able to be a good caretaker on any level. Now there is hope. She can rehabilitate, go back to court, and get visitation and then you can be more involved. I strongly suggest therapy to help you cope. This is a loss and you hurt and can't control the players. You need to care for yourself. Please do. Hugs and love and I am so sorry. [/QUOTE]
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