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Parent Emeritus
Calm before the storm
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 634294" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>I wouldn't ever give him money. If you feel the need to buy him food, buy him food and not a lot...something like peanut butter and bread. Gas? You want him to drive? If so, you put $10 in his car for him or put $10 on a gas card. I wouldn't do it at all, but it's up to you.</p><p></p><p>I'd let him make any decision about his phone that he wants. He's old enough to pay for his own cell phone.</p><p></p><p>Having said this and having dealt with difficult children a long time, he may be angling for something here and the nice could be to soften you up for something you aren't prepared for. I'm a big believer in looking at behavior. How has he behaved in the past when he is angry? If he has been violent and destructive, he hasn't changed...he will likely do something again. So keep your guard up closely, but go on with your life and plans. And do check the lawyer. The first thing I thought of when he said he'd destroy your house is doing something with fire. I could be wrong (and hope I am) that he'd go that far, but maybe he needs a restraining order to stay away from your house. I doubt you'll have eviction problems since he is leaving of his own desire. Let him move out or he becomes a boarder. I remember how I had to watch my every move (and I did) when difficult child lived with me. I was afraid of him which made it harder.</p><p></p><p>Hugs and good luck!!!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 634294, member: 1550"] I wouldn't ever give him money. If you feel the need to buy him food, buy him food and not a lot...something like peanut butter and bread. Gas? You want him to drive? If so, you put $10 in his car for him or put $10 on a gas card. I wouldn't do it at all, but it's up to you. I'd let him make any decision about his phone that he wants. He's old enough to pay for his own cell phone. Having said this and having dealt with difficult children a long time, he may be angling for something here and the nice could be to soften you up for something you aren't prepared for. I'm a big believer in looking at behavior. How has he behaved in the past when he is angry? If he has been violent and destructive, he hasn't changed...he will likely do something again. So keep your guard up closely, but go on with your life and plans. And do check the lawyer. The first thing I thought of when he said he'd destroy your house is doing something with fire. I could be wrong (and hope I am) that he'd go that far, but maybe he needs a restraining order to stay away from your house. I doubt you'll have eviction problems since he is leaving of his own desire. Let him move out or he becomes a boarder. I remember how I had to watch my every move (and I did) when difficult child lived with me. I was afraid of him which made it harder. Hugs and good luck!!! [/QUOTE]
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