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Parent Emeritus
Calm before the storm
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<blockquote data-quote="Childofmine" data-source="post: 634305" data-attributes="member: 17542"><p>Also, giving him the card with this money on it might be a good step for YOU. It might let you know you did something, if you still have that need and that feeling at times. </p><p></p><p>And he asked. One thing we need to remember and remind ourselves about is this: Before we act to do anything for difficult child, have we been asked to do something?</p><p></p><p>Often we have not, but in our need and frenzy for action, we will do something to "help" that we haven't even been asked to do.</p><p></p><p>I did that myself yesterday. difficult child asked me for a ride from work, and I said okay, after thinking about it. Then, out of my own need, I bought him some grocery store fried chicken, chips and salsa and a couple of protein bars and gave that to him. He said thank you, but later on, I realized he hadn't asked me for food.</p><p></p><p>I am a bit anxious about the whole getting the girlfriend out of jail thing. And I am confused about the +/- aspects of difficult child's behavior. </p><p></p><p>Ugh. I need to remind myself always: Have I been asked for help? Before I rush in like the Cavalry to help difficult child. </p><p></p><p>Thanks for this chance to remind myself, and hopefully, it will help someone else.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Childofmine, post: 634305, member: 17542"] Also, giving him the card with this money on it might be a good step for YOU. It might let you know you did something, if you still have that need and that feeling at times. And he asked. One thing we need to remember and remind ourselves about is this: Before we act to do anything for difficult child, have we been asked to do something? Often we have not, but in our need and frenzy for action, we will do something to "help" that we haven't even been asked to do. I did that myself yesterday. difficult child asked me for a ride from work, and I said okay, after thinking about it. Then, out of my own need, I bought him some grocery store fried chicken, chips and salsa and a couple of protein bars and gave that to him. He said thank you, but later on, I realized he hadn't asked me for food. I am a bit anxious about the whole getting the girlfriend out of jail thing. And I am confused about the +/- aspects of difficult child's behavior. Ugh. I need to remind myself always: Have I been asked for help? Before I rush in like the Cavalry to help difficult child. Thanks for this chance to remind myself, and hopefully, it will help someone else. [/QUOTE]
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