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<blockquote data-quote="CAmom" data-source="post: 6770" data-attributes="member: 1835"><p>Thank you all so much! I haven't been around simply because we've been running so much that I barely have time to breathe!</p><p></p><p>We've been able to visit our son in his group home every weekend, and he's seemed SO needy of our presence that we've done the almost-eight-hour round trip to see him every one of the four weekends he's been there. The last two, we decided to get a hotel to spend a night or two so that it wasn't such a long haul.</p><p></p><p>Now, he's reached his "status" so we were able to take him out for the day last Saturday, and he will now be able to come home every other weekend. </p><p></p><p>Guys, he's talking the talk, but SO much sounds like "therapy speak." Call me a cynic, but I have a difficult time believing that a month in a group home and counseling are going to make any real long-term changes, i.e., he tells us, "Mom and Dad, you're the BEST parents in the world--you did everything right--it was me and my choices that got me where I am." Yet, when we told him that, during his visits home, he was going to be on probation and would have to submit to our supervision, i.e., driving him to and from his friends' homes and ONLY if we trust the friends he chooses to visit, his response was, "I'm not going to smoke pot or drink because I'm going to be tested when I go back, so I should still be able to "hang out" with my friends!" </p><p></p><p>So, although I'm happy he's going to be home, I'm VERY nervous that he's going to find avoiding temptation MUCH more difficult than he could possibly imagine when he's back with his old friends. PLUS, even after we've all been through as a result of his resistance to accepting parental authority and following rules in general, the fact that he is STILL resisting and trying to find wiggle room in the rules concerning his home visits is worrisome...</p><p></p><p>Again, thank you all for your concern and caring. I SO much appreciate it! And, if you all have any suggestions, warnings, etc. about his first visit home, I can use the advice. I'm SO nervous about it!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="CAmom, post: 6770, member: 1835"] Thank you all so much! I haven't been around simply because we've been running so much that I barely have time to breathe! We've been able to visit our son in his group home every weekend, and he's seemed SO needy of our presence that we've done the almost-eight-hour round trip to see him every one of the four weekends he's been there. The last two, we decided to get a hotel to spend a night or two so that it wasn't such a long haul. Now, he's reached his "status" so we were able to take him out for the day last Saturday, and he will now be able to come home every other weekend. Guys, he's talking the talk, but SO much sounds like "therapy speak." Call me a cynic, but I have a difficult time believing that a month in a group home and counseling are going to make any real long-term changes, i.e., he tells us, "Mom and Dad, you're the BEST parents in the world--you did everything right--it was me and my choices that got me where I am." Yet, when we told him that, during his visits home, he was going to be on probation and would have to submit to our supervision, i.e., driving him to and from his friends' homes and ONLY if we trust the friends he chooses to visit, his response was, "I'm not going to smoke pot or drink because I'm going to be tested when I go back, so I should still be able to "hang out" with my friends!" So, although I'm happy he's going to be home, I'm VERY nervous that he's going to find avoiding temptation MUCH more difficult than he could possibly imagine when he's back with his old friends. PLUS, even after we've all been through as a result of his resistance to accepting parental authority and following rules in general, the fact that he is STILL resisting and trying to find wiggle room in the rules concerning his home visits is worrisome... Again, thank you all for your concern and caring. I SO much appreciate it! And, if you all have any suggestions, warnings, etc. about his first visit home, I can use the advice. I'm SO nervous about it! [/QUOTE]
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