Can I be a man?? (man vent)

[bran155]

Can I please be a man instead? Why is it that no matter what I am doing my son comes to me? His father could be doing nothing at all and I could be hanging from the rafters and my son still needs ME!!! My husband can sit in our bedroom and watch tv, read, listen to music, do whatever he wants without being bothered once!!! I swear I want to be a man. I wish I had a dollar for every time I hear the word "MOM" in a day. If I am downstairs in my sister's apartment and my son and his father are upstairs and he needs or wants something he will come downstairs to get me!!! If he is upstairs with my husband WHY doesn't he just ask him? I get woken up in the mornings, I have to poor drinks, I have to find toys, I have to tie shoes...etc... Men do not know how good they have it. Us poor moms!!!!

 

[cadydid]

Oh my nightmare are you talking about my life.. I could be at work, 30 miles away, and they still call me over asking husband.

My biggest pet peeve is when they interrupt me in the bathroom. Whether it be using the facility, shower or doing my hair and make up in the morning, they still come to me.

I can't even get away from it when Im on a business trip.. my kids have been known to e-mail me a question rather than ask husband.. and then had the nerve to get upset when I didn't immediately answer them.

I wonder what they would do if we all just started saying I don't know , ask your dad, or ask xxx? Do you think they might learn then?

 

[klmno]

Oh- you know the answer to that already- your son knows that you will take care of it, no matter what the problem is. And if he went to his dad, dad would just have to ask you anyway.

But don't worry- in about 5 years, you will not know anything and he will not want to be around you at all or acknowledge that he even has a mother- so, this really is just temporary.

 

[susiestar]

I never let my kids get away with that carp. I ask them "what am I doing?" and they say X, Y and Z. Then I ask "What is your dad doing?" and they say Watching TV. Then I ask which of us should they go to for that problem? If they were busy doing 3 things and I came to them and asked them to pour a drink, what would they feel?

It took some time, but my kids go to their dad if they see I am busy. I DID have to work on my husband to actually RESPOND, but some of our goals are to make the kids as independent as possible, so they usually have to try to do whatever it is before they ask for help.

It is a struggle to work out of that rut Bran, but if you set a plan, then sit husband and the kids down for a talk, and then STICK to the plan of sending them to either try it themselves or ask Dad and have HIM try before they bug you if you are busy, well, it CAN work.

But I DO understand the feeling of wanting to be a man.

 

[goldenguru]

I remember that frustration. For every time my kids spoke "Dad?" they said "Mom?" 100 times.

Mine are all grown up now. When they really need a confidant, it is me that they come to for advice, or encouragement. Sometimes I think it hurts husband's feelings. But, if ya don't listen to them when they tell ya the little things, they will never confide in you with the big things. Ya know?

It is a high price to pay right now, but in the big picture, it pays off in my humble opinion.

 

[Hound dog]

been there done that

All I've got to say is............ Karma.

Mine are all grown now. Now I get taken out to dinner on a reg basis. I get better gifts than dear ol' Dad. I get taken to the movies and shopping.

Eeeh, I"m no longer complaining. lol

 

[amazeofgrace]

In 2009 you can be anything you want to! LOL

 

[flutterbee]

When my kids started the "Mom" over and over and over (and there is no dad to go to here), I just told them I changed my name and wasn't going to tell them what it was.

Worked when they were little.

 

[donna723]

You may not believe this now, but someday when your kids are grown and gone and you no longer hear that "Mom? MOM! MOM!!!" a hundred times a day ... you'll kind of miss it!

 

[susiestar]

I love the changed my name and not telling you line. That is too funny.

 

[bran155]

Amazeofgrace, I like your idea. So, in 2009 I think I will be: Faith Hill. Yes, Faith Hill. She is rich, beautiful and sleeps with Timmy every night!!!! LOL