I realize that some of this confusion on my part is the fact that dealing with the world of "therapists" is already stepping into an alternate reality... but here goes: difficult child's issues cause her to fly into angry rages. She does not take her medications as prescribed, nor does she care to follow therapists' recommendations. difficult child wants to get her Driver's License. husband and I say that until she gets herself under control - we are not about to hand her the keys to a deadly weapon. difficult child has not made sufficient progress to getting herself under control - therefore she does not drive. Behavior Therapist thinks we should reconsider. difficult child wants her own money to be able to buy and do things that Mom and Dad do not provide. Since difficult child does not drive, she needs to get a job within walking or biking distance...and as luck would have it - there are about a dozen places she could go apply. BUT - difficult child does not want to work in a fast-food restaurant...and when the grocery store was hiring, she couldn't be bothered to put in an application...now those positions have been filled. husband and I say if difficult child is not motivated enough to get an application in...and is "too good" for fast-food...then she does not have her own money....too bad. Behavior Therapist thinks we should arrange to drive difficult child across town so she can get a job at the same place some of her friends work. Behavior Therapist feels that by confining difficult child to jobs within walking distance, we are putting up too many barriers for her. difficult child does not like to do school work...and is failing a couple of classes right now... BUT - difficult child would like Mom and Dad to send her to college. husband and I told her that if she cannot be bothered doing school work now...we are not about to support her while she spends time NOT doing school work in college. If difficult child is determined to work hard and get an education...she is going to have to work and put herself through school part-time. Behavior Therapist thinks we need to reconsider. Behavior Therapist is confident that difficult child can find a college scholarship that will pay for her education...and we will not have to "support her" if she lives on-campus. husband and I think we have set up some pretty reasonable expectations - and difficult child is facing the natural consequences of not making good choices. But the Therapist is telling us that we are being completely unreasonable and putting too much burden on a 16-year-old. What do you think?