Can one woman have it all?

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by lizanne2, May 21, 2009.

  1. lizanne2

    lizanne2 New Member

    A job and a difficult child or two.

    That old work life balance is taking a beating. My easy child/difficult child is in school(Yeah) but so struggling. I have to go back today and was there yesterday. Plus the IEP meetings, yes plural, for the difficult child.

    Work is going to NOT be please. I punch a web clock and now have to make up lots of time. And we can't do it tomorrow because we are getting out early. SO i can't make up the time then?

    So, any thoughts on the delicate balance.......
    Or perhaps I am just venting.

    One of the morning talk shows did another segment on work life balance--all about packing lunches the night before, scheduling phone time with the teacher on your calendar, making your child more responsible for their own books, homework etc.
    That so does not apply here int the land of oz.

    So looking forward to the three day weekend.
  2. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    Mine are now 19 and 21 and I have gone to school and worked full time since they were 3 and 5. It was VERY difficult at times to constantly keep things in balance. And for the earlier years I did it alone, as H wasn't fully in the picture yet.

    I know that despite the difficulties in my life at the time I was fortunate enough to have a job where some flexibility was tolerated and that helped me a lot. Also, I think I failed in some ways as being a more understanding parent at times simply because I was so stressed out for time challenged. I probably should not have been so serious at times. I'm still like that now when I'm stressed (no time to just kick back and have fun, live in the moment).

    It was easier to keep things organized when my girls were little - we were all on a very tight schedule during the week. The weekends were our down times and I tried to keep them as stress free and fun as possible. I think I did okay.

    Making lunches the night before definitely helped. Pre-paying for a school lunch helped more. Haha.

    Choosing their clothing the night before was a challenge as they never wanted to wear what they chose the night before. Mornings were difficult, but I had to be on the city bus by 6:55 AM after dropping them at daycare, so we were up early and they usually had their breakfast at daycare, which I bought and supplied to the daycare ahead of time. On weekends, before bed, I would put the cereal, two bowls and two spoons on the table. easy child would make them cereals in the morning - by then they were 4 and 6 - so I could get an extra hour of sleep while they watched tv. For dinners I tried to plan a loose menu and the dinners were usually very simple during the week - 30 minutes or less and we were done eating by 6:30PM. Baths at 7:30, bed by 8PM. Like I said, it wasn't easy, but it was necessary. On Tuesday evenings, we ate out pizza at a little place by our apt and the girls would be thrilled to eat out once a week (it was so cheap then - only $13 for the three of us). It was our fun night during the week. We got to be silly, stop by the park and check out the ducks, maybe ride bikes around our complex. On the weekends, we were much more laid back and didn't follow any real schedules.

    If I ask easy child, she will tell me that she doesn't remember much of her childhood, but she does think she was happy and content and well cared for. If I ask difficult child, her perception was/is totally different. I think I did my best.

    You are doing your best. Just ask yourself that question and I bet you will find that you're doing your best. Remember to let go once in a while, get silly and laugh with them. All they really want is our attention and for it be fun once in a while. Hugs~
  3. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    The only thing my kids remember about their childhood is that they played They dont remember that I struggled constantly to make them good dinners or that I tried so hard to keep the house clean. No one remembers what they wore. Cory thinks I took him shopping every month...NOT!

    I think they pull things that were fun for them and make memories.
  4. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    So many of the organizational tips just aren't logical with difficult children, you're so right. When Miss KT was just starting school, I went back for my credential, and though I wasn't working, we were living on my student loan. I tried doing as much as I could the night before, but after a full day of dealing with someone else's kids, I picked up mine and had her velcroed to my butt till bedtime. By then I was too tired to do anything.

    I never did find the balance between single momhood and a full time job. I always felt something was being neglected, whether it was my job or my home. Sending hugs and some extra strength.