To refresh, placement was up in the air, then I was told it was 'cast in stone', then I called super about the hostile situation between PO and myself over the way all this was handled and had gone back and forth, super said she might reconsider placement but would want a videoconfeerence with all parties involved including difficult child, fine, then she calls 2 days later and tells me she had decided she'd have videoconference with difficult child first without me then would bring me in (now how is that 'everyone getting together'?) so she sets up videoconference which is sscheduled for tomorrow- about 3 weeks out from when this first was discussed. I told her at that point that if the VC was really being set up just to get me to buy into GH that it wasn't necessary for me to be there because now it was sounding different from her intent to review placement. She said she was ttrying to leave a small window open for reconsideration. Then attny told me to call super and give permission for them to talk to attny- during that converstaion super told me she had then decided that reentry lady wouldn'typical teen need to be at videoconference so then it wouldd justt be super, po, and difficult child with me bein g pulled in at `the end. After attny spoke to po, attny made it sound to me that GH placement was cast in stone. I told her what super said about purpose of videoconference being reconsideration and final deecision. Attny then said "oh yeaah, that's right but you'll (me) be there so you can participate". difficult child told me reentry lady came to talk to him with a 2nd person in the room who only observed and that reentry lady said her being there didn't necessarily mean difficult child was going to gh. But difficult child said that reentry lady made it sound like I had been lieing- I asked him if he meant that they think I'm lying to them or if they were trying to convince him that I was lying to him and he said he didn't know. One thing I have figured out- csu people don't really want the parent and kid to be that close and trusting of each other- they want to be the people that the kid and parent are talking to instead of the parent and kid talking to each other. They will purposely cause the parent and kid to doubt each other- like interrogators do with witnesses and suspects. PO just called to remind me of VC tomorrow 'to get difficult child's perspective and get everyonoe on same page". I asked if I needed to be there because it was my understanding that this was set up to make final determination but now it sounds like it's cast in stone. He said it had always been written that difficult child was going to gh. I said ok, then I don't see reason for me to be there. He said "wait, he'd check super's notes", then returns and says she had just written that she waanted to talk to difficult child and he said they were aware of how I felt about everything but they felt the need to get everyone together about 'all that had transpired regarding difficult child's placement and get his perspective". OK what has transpired? Well, he says that originally I was concerned about difficult child coming home then I went back and forth with it due to all the services needed. Well, I asked, is the decision cast in stone or not and why can't someone just say what it is- better yet, can someone just send it to me in writing? Oh, that's what the VC is for tomorrow. Do I have to be there? He sayss he's just callling to remind me of it in case I'd like to join. I said thank you and it was certainly their perogative to speak to difficult child whenever they felt the need to and we hung up. Then he ccalled back to say the 30 day prior to release meeting that is required between Department of Juvenile Justice and them and difficult child is also scheduled for tomorrow. OK, thank you, and we hung up. Am I the only one thinking that the GH placement is cast in stone and the rest is lip service but for whatever reason, they are trying to leave me and difficult child a ray of possibility otherwise like they did for the past 3 weeks? But you see how PO makes it sound like they are asking for our perspectives- before it was mine and now it's difficult child's- but doG forbid, one should actually give them a perspective because we see how that's interpretted. And since they are all about them having the authority and them making all the deicsions, why not just tell us what they are and be done with it? This is nothing more than the same BS I was led to believe about the face to face meeting with PO, super, and reentry lady- it isn't to get my thoughts or anyone's perspective, it's about them trying to get us to do the bobblehead "OR ELSE".