I am heading down another fork in the road with this kid, and I need advice. In the last month he has re-connected with his best friend from his Residential Treatment Center (RTC) in Idaho. His attitude has dramatically changed since their first connection. I know this kid, and I think he has the capability to be a positive influence as well as negative on Matt - and I think Matt has the same capability with him. I don't know if the attitude change is because he is done with this small town with no life, or me - or that this kid is filling his mind with nonsense. Regardless, Matt has a one way ticket to go see this kid for a month. From there, he wants to move to Oregon. I am OK with this concept simply because I know he has to get out of here. The one and only psychiatrist in this town got fired, there are not any tdocs, and he has back issues that he needs to see a specialist for, and again, there is no one here. On the flip side - I need to disconnect from this whole deal. I cannot be Matt's liaison for life anymore. HOWEVER, he has serious executive functioning problems. We go to doctors appts and he doesn't hear half the conversation. It is not that he is not smart enough, it is more like he literally just missed half the conversation. The same thing in any situation where he has to function - he does not absorb all the information - and then he walks away mis-informed, and usually mad because the pieces of info that he missed he inserts his own negative assumptions into. I don't know how to explain it better - it is like his own self hate dialogue gets attached to the missing pieces of the conversation. In addition he comes across as a VERY smart, entitled, bully. He is 6'4, 180lbs, hair down to his shoulders - with a permanent scowl etched on his face. His bravado keeps him from "wanting any help of any kind", and his appearance causes people to assume the worst. So when I think about him moving to OR I think - well if I can't be there to interpret some of life's obstacles, maybe wrap around services could work? But yet, I just know he would never allow some "dude" to help him. It would have to be someone who is more a "friend". My mom who lives in OR has flat out told me she does not want this responsibility - and so I am kinda left scratching my head. It is obvious that because of his Learning Disability (LD)'s and mental illnesses he sees and processes the world through a kaleidoscope of his own colors - and more often than not his evaluation is inaccurate of what is going on. In addition he has a lot of medical needs. And the medical world, as we all know, can sometimes take a masters degree to navigate in this society that we live in. So what should I do? There is not any family other than me that can help. I can try to get him hooked up with some org - although I am not sure who he would accept into his life. It would need to be someone that came across as a "buddy" not as someone who is helping the "challenged". Then again, I guess if he refuses to let others help him, than it is what it is. He will live life in a sku'd vortex. The thing that is hard for me to piece out is how much do we as parents intervene when our kid is disabled and mentally ill - and how much do we just let them go? I mean, if they are so disabled that they cannot see they are headed for the cliff, do we intervene and stop them - or do we hope they see the cliff in time. If you go with the latter, than we have to be prepared that they might die - and that is where I stumble.