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Parent Emeritus
Can we now talk about boundaries in relation to the word "NO?"
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<blockquote data-quote="Echolette" data-source="post: 627567" data-attributes="member: 17269"><p>I also have had a hard time saying no....to anyone. A few things helped me...along the lines of COM's comment about "no" being a complete sentence, I read and Ann Landers column (my guilty pleasure..I love advice columnists) once in which she said that you are not obliged nor should you offer an explanation when you decline an invitation...you should not because explaining suggests that the other thing is more important and is secretly asking for forgiveness/permission from the person you are saying no to...so..."Please come to dinner at our house on Friday" --"oh, no, I"m sorry, I can't". Thats all. That was incredibly liberating for me.</p><p></p><p>And the other...I read somewhere that when you say yes to something you say no to something else. At that time I was managing my 60 hour plus a week job that included nights and weekends, and 4 kids with ages in single digits...like others here, I was VERY proud of my ability to take everything on...and somehow, I heard that...when I say yes to another meeting another committee another overnight trip to Chicago...I am saying no to my sweet children, to my sweet dog, to my chance to go for a run, to my chance to make dinner...to my chance to sit on my roofdeck and watch the stars. To my chance to say yes to something else more important. Yes always is accompanied by a no (I always like the theme of opposites...no light without dark, no joy without suffering, no left without right, no mud no lotus, right? but I digresss...)</p><p></p><p>That helped me too.</p><p></p><p>No is an important part of personal growth.</p><p></p><p>Echo</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Echolette, post: 627567, member: 17269"] I also have had a hard time saying no....to anyone. A few things helped me...along the lines of COM's comment about "no" being a complete sentence, I read and Ann Landers column (my guilty pleasure..I love advice columnists) once in which she said that you are not obliged nor should you offer an explanation when you decline an invitation...you should not because explaining suggests that the other thing is more important and is secretly asking for forgiveness/permission from the person you are saying no to...so..."Please come to dinner at our house on Friday" --"oh, no, I"m sorry, I can't". Thats all. That was incredibly liberating for me. And the other...I read somewhere that when you say yes to something you say no to something else. At that time I was managing my 60 hour plus a week job that included nights and weekends, and 4 kids with ages in single digits...like others here, I was VERY proud of my ability to take everything on...and somehow, I heard that...when I say yes to another meeting another committee another overnight trip to Chicago...I am saying no to my sweet children, to my sweet dog, to my chance to go for a run, to my chance to make dinner...to my chance to sit on my roofdeck and watch the stars. To my chance to say yes to something else more important. Yes always is accompanied by a no (I always like the theme of opposites...no light without dark, no joy without suffering, no left without right, no mud no lotus, right? but I digresss...) That helped me too. No is an important part of personal growth. Echo [/QUOTE]
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Can we now talk about boundaries in relation to the word "NO?"
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