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Parent Emeritus
Can we now talk about boundaries in relation to the word "NO?"
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<blockquote data-quote="Childofmine" data-source="post: 627612" data-attributes="member: 17542"><p>Can you say this, the next time she brings him up: </p><p></p><p>Hey Sis, I don't want to talk about K anymore when we talk on the phone. </p><p></p><p>When she protests, have several short responses:</p><p></p><p>***I'm sorry. I just don't want to talk about him anymore.</p><p></p><p>***Like I said, let's don't talk about him anymore.</p><p></p><p>***He's not a good topic for our phone calls.</p><p></p><p>All of those are benign responses and are just different ways of saying what you just said, instead of repeating the same statement like a robot, which would be ultra-infuriating to her, I imagine.</p><p></p><p>Write down your responses like I do with difficult child, and have them at the ready. Do your best not to engage further than that. She will get mad, you know that, but she can't make you say anything you don't want to say.</p><p></p><p>If she keeps on, say, I need to get off the phone now. Let's talk tomorrow if you're available.</p><p></p><p>None of that is mean. Remember, she is a difficult child. You already know how to do this, MWM. It's just throwing you because she's your sister.</p><p></p><p>Hugs to your sincere and kind heart, trying to figure out how to say what you mean, but not be mean when you say it.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Childofmine, post: 627612, member: 17542"] Can you say this, the next time she brings him up: Hey Sis, I don't want to talk about K anymore when we talk on the phone. When she protests, have several short responses: ***I'm sorry. I just don't want to talk about him anymore. ***Like I said, let's don't talk about him anymore. ***He's not a good topic for our phone calls. All of those are benign responses and are just different ways of saying what you just said, instead of repeating the same statement like a robot, which would be ultra-infuriating to her, I imagine. Write down your responses like I do with difficult child, and have them at the ready. Do your best not to engage further than that. She will get mad, you know that, but she can't make you say anything you don't want to say. If she keeps on, say, I need to get off the phone now. Let's talk tomorrow if you're available. None of that is mean. Remember, she is a difficult child. You already know how to do this, MWM. It's just throwing you because she's your sister. Hugs to your sincere and kind heart, trying to figure out how to say what you mean, but not be mean when you say it. [/QUOTE]
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Can we now talk about boundaries in relation to the word "NO?"
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