Seems my neighbor and I do not see eye to eye on what we can allow our same age boys to do. When my son was 10 yrs old, he had a target practice birthday party. My husband supervised and each kid got to shoot a BB gun and a bow and arrow. It was in turn and for anyone familiar with boy scouts it was set up as that organization would practice except only one kid had the gun at a time. I stood with the gun when husband walked each kid down to get the target. At no time did a kid have a weapon without very direct supervision and at no time was the weapon available for a kid to pick up without permission. My son had been handling a BB gun and bow and arrow for a couple of years by then. We went over the safety rules several times and as with each boy as his turn came up. A few boys also had expereince but the neighbor boy had not. My neighbor went off on me as to how the boys were way too young for that. They should not be allowed to touch a gun without first going through gun safety.
I think what was extra hard for her was that difficult child told her son about the party before I could talk to her. I was expecting that reaction and was not surprised when he was not allowed to attend.
Then, when the boys were 12 years old, her son had a soft air gun party. That was super hard for me to deal with. See, as difficult child was taught at a young age about the safety issues around guns, the number 1 rule is you do not point a gun at anyone, period. So, here this boy who was not allowed to attend the b-day party was having an airgun party. Why? Because apparantely that is what 12 -13 year old boys do. He had to have a party the same as his friends were having. Their parents allow them to go to this very noisy dark room with guns and obsticles where they get to shoot at each other. Ugh big time for me. The mom was very much surprised why I have not introduced difficult child to this "sport". "Really? I thought for sure your difficult child would have done this before since you allow him to handle guns!" "We drive by here everyday and I am always thankful that difficult child has not asked to check it out."
There was a deisel type smell in the area of the "game" which difficult child was unable to handle. He most likely did not like the noise either so he ended not going in. He has not
We have both come to understand that our choices for our kids are very different. The boys are very different! We have learned to allow each other to raise our own child. They are still close friends and have learned that they can not always do what the other is allowed to.
Her boy is the first born and we all know with that comes hesitations we don't always have with our 2nd child. My son gets to ride bike to a nearby convience store alone - hers only if he goes with my son. Such as that.
Our answer to things are, "That just doesn't work for us." No need to explain why.
I hate public pools. We have one 1/2 an hour away that is full of 8 - 12 year olds as a cheap babysitting. I don't see how lifeguards can keep their eye on the entire pool. I really think that environment is unsafe for any kid not directly supervised. What a great place for a pedophile to spend the day and watch for unsupervised kids! Doesn't take long to figure out which kid comes and goes on which days on his/her own.
I am one of those considered to be overly protective because I want to keep all kids safe. I do not trust people. And like someone said, this kid is OUR responsibility - when something does not work out, we will be the ones grilled as to why we allowed something our peers were pressuring us into allowing.
That statement of, "He is ____ years old, let him do it!" is along the lines of, "But Mom, everyone else gets to why cant I?" You would think society by now would drop that line!
I would say, "I am not comfortable (or not ready) to let him do this. Maybe in a few years?"
