can you make a teen difficult child take medication?

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by ksm, Nov 6, 2011.

  1. ksm

    ksm Well-Known Member

    If so - how? Last week we saw the ARNP and she dropped J's Seroquel from 150 to 100. We had done 4 weeks at 50 mg and 2 weeks at 100 mg. Then at the next meeting they took her up to 150 mg. After two to three weeks at 150 we noticed more crying and agitation. We went in and she prescribed 100mg. Of course, difficult child wants to stop medication all together. It was discussed at the ARNP and she said "if" you stop Seroquel at this level, to take 4 pills at what she is at now, then 4 pills at the next level, then we could stop. Tonight J refused to take the 2 pills - would only take one because we think she is retarded or bipolar or ADD and she is just a normal teen age girl. (Said as if she was trying out for an academy award performance!) and she doesn't need medication! She is normal. This is after numerous meltdowns all week.

    I think she is under a lot of stress because the end of trimester is Wednesday and work that is not handed in will be zeros. There is a big English report due that she hasn't started. Of course, yesterday, she begged to see a movie with a friend, and other plans in the evening. She would work on it today. Today she was "sick" and hasn't done anything but yell at us. I am so tired of the stress that I wonder if I should just back off and give her enough space to really fail on her own. We do this the week or two before grade cards EVERY YEAR! The school doesn't feel she needs a 504 plan or an IEP because she is capable and tests out well on state exams. But she can't do daily work and hand it in for credit.

    I had decided on Friday that I wasn't going to ruin the rest of the families weekend dealing with her homework drama. But, now I am feeling guilty. But she does this all the time... falls behind... has plans to catch up... but I am the one that orchestrates it and makes her do it - then I get the brunt of her rage because she can't watch tv, or go to movies, or ride bikes or what ever she wants to do but homework. KSM
  2. buddy

    buddy New Member

    gosh, if i ever face that, i am in big big trouble. Good question. I told my son if he stops taking his medications (truth but I made it very dramatic) that he could die. I have had a zero tolerance policy for playing with medications, dropping them, not taking them in front of me, etc. but I am lucky he loves to go on the school bus, loves school etc. so if he doesn't take it, he can't go to school. (i'm sure many would love to have that problem...I have very few things that work in my favor so can't apologize for it, tee hee) Helps that he is so delayed and Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) and i can get away with stretches....

    I will be interested to hear what people do for kids when they do certainly could happen here too... sorry i am not much help, just made me wonder
  3. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    medications were non-negotiable at our house. Miss KT's world would stop if she refused phone, no TV, no nothing. Once she started driving, I threatened to take the keys. She is now 20 and remains medication compliant.

    As for the homework issue...let her fail. That's the only thing that got Miss KT on the program. She failed second semester biology, and had to add it in the next year, meaning she took zero period PE. Scampering around a cold and soggy football field at 645 am cured her of ever wanting to fail anything again. Consequences need to be relevant and painful, and PE at that time of the morning was painful for her AND it was a direct result of her piddling around. "Not My Problem" was a standard phrase during those years.
  4. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Yep...Stop his world. medications are not negotiable. I dont know why your son thinks he gets a choice in the matter but in your house it is the Land of KSM. husband is King and you are Queen. You two make all rules and laws and if they are not followed then off to the gallows! Better then off with their

    Medications can be put out on the table and he can take them with his breakfast if that is when he takes them and if he refuses he can sit there until the cows come home if he so chooses but nothing else gets done for him. No food, no tv, no school, no computer, no radio, no books, no talking, no getting up, no nothing. If he has to pee, march him there and back without a word. If it takes days, so be it. I am sure you can out stubborn him. If you cant, you are done. Or if you arent willing to do this, tell him at the start that if he wont take his medications, you will take him to the hospital to have all medications administered by injection anytime he refuses to take medication because you will not be held hostage by a child refusing to take medications but you must mean what you say.

    I only had to have mine sit at the table for an hour once and they never refused to take medication again once.
  5. JJJ

    JJJ Active Member

    I agree with everyone else

    J's world ceases to exist unless she takes her medications, every time as presecribed, in front of you so you can see her swallow them. No tv, no phone, no computer, no friends, no playing, just schoolwork and sitting in the house.

    If she is in 8th grade, I would 100% back off and let her fail. In the long run that would be more beneficial than anything. It will demonstrate to the school that there is a problem and it may impact J that either she needs to work harder or accept your help organizing her homework schedule.
  6. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Ditto what everyone else has said. My difficult child's entire world stops until his medications are taken. For the most part he is now compliant but every once in awhile he decides he needs to challenge us and every time he still finds his world stops until those medications are taken.
  7. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    Let her fail, but... Let her also see that no medications=no fun.

    Don't feel guilty. If the Seroquel isn't working, it isn't working. At least she took one. But... Making her take them... WHEW. been there done that. Best we could do was stop her world, and even that wasn't very easy.
  8. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Absolutely. Stop the world. Our therapist answered that with, "Well, that's true, your parents can't MAKE you take your prescriptions. But then, you can't MAKE them buy you new clothes, make you nice meals, or drive you anywhere. They will give you a piece of bread and a glass of water for dinner, there will be no TV or conversation, you will have no computer or fun friend activities. That's fair, don't you think?"
    He got the picture pretty quickly. :)
    A few times, it came down to the wire where he was late with-his medications, and I'd play freeze-out, and he'd scream, "ALL RIGHT, JUST GIVE ME THE STUPID PILL!"
  9. ksm

    ksm Well-Known Member

    Good advice... I might try that later - but I think difficult child might have legitimate reasons about not wanting to take this rx. We will need to keep taking at least 1 pill a night for 3 more days if we end up stepping down off the medications. I will be calling their office in a few minutes. There has been twice in the last few days that right as she was waking up or falling asleep, she was speaking gibbbberish. Not mumbling, but combining parts or words or words that don't fit together and carrying on a conversation. Weird. She wasn't in a monotone or yawning, she was talking, with pauses and inflection of voice. and waiting for me to respond... but I didn't know what to say! Reminded me of my dad after he had had a stroke and the words were all jumbled or not the right word. KSM
  10. Bunny

    Bunny Guest

    difficult child is usually medication compliant, but we have had times where I trusted him too much and discovered that he was throwing the pills in the garbage or down the drain. Now I've become warden mom when it comes to medications. Either husband or I give them to him, watch him put them in his mouth and I make him open his mouth so that I can see that he swallowed them. I agree with the others. medications should be a non-issue. If she doesn't want to take them, fine, but then she gets to do nothing other than sit in her room and do nothing.

    As far as the homework, again, I agree with the others. Let her fail if that is her choice. She's old enough to learn that there are consequences for not getting her work done and handing it in on time. difficult child tried this with me once. He came home on a Friday and told me that he had alot of homework and that he was going to do it little by little over the weekend. Great, right? I kept reminding him that he needed to do it, and he kept telling me, "Later!" (that seems to be his favorite answer). Finally, it was Sunday night and nothing was done. husband and I found him having a screaming fit, rolling around on the floor of his room, telling me that I had to call the teachers and tell them that they gave too much work for him to get done and that he couldn't do it. Either that, or I had to do the work for him. I told him no, and he said that then he would go into school and tell the teachers that it was all my fault, that I didn't "let" him do his work. I called his bluff and said, "Fine. Let them call and I will explain it to them." He did get the work done, but if need be I would have let him go without it done and let him figure it out.
  11. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    That's weird, Ksm. I'd call the dr.
  12. ksm

    ksm Well-Known Member

    I got a call back from the family doctor and she will be seen after lunch. Still waiting for the ARNP's office to call back... like usual... the recording says to give them one business day to return your call. If I call in the morning, I usually get a call about 4:30pm that day. Not good enough. I left a message that I felt this was urgent. She could just have strep or mono or the flu... but the gibberish stuff has me worried. Also one of the side effects of Seroquel XR was neuroleptic malignant syndrome... and high fever was one of the symptoms. KSM
  13. shellyd67

    shellyd67 Active Member

    I have to watch difficult child take his medications every morning or guess what ? They will end up in the trash ! He sometimes still balks at taking medications but it is not open for discussion.
  14. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Ksm, were you able to go in? I think I would stop by a doctor-in-the box if your own dr didn't see you, and it continues.
  15. buddy

    buddy New Member

    gosh after thinking about it today, I hope it IS the medication. so glad you got the doctor appointment. Did you tell difficult child she was speaking like that? I suppose that would scare her. sounds like she has no idea it is happening.
  16. ksm

    ksm Well-Known Member

    We did see the family doctor and he ran strep and mono and so far both are negative. I told him about the gibberish speech and being on Seroquel XR and he thought it might be causing it. I told him I had left a message with the ARNP that prescribed it and he said I would need to discuss it with her.

    Came home, checked my caller idea... and no phone calls. Now it is almost 6pm so they didn't call at all. I had left a voice mail that I felt it was urgent to hear back today... not within the next business day. And they wonder WHY we aren't sure we want her on this medication?? If you read the side effects it scares you half to death. And... they tell you to watch out for high fever and muscle cramps as it could be a serious side effect... and still no phone call.

    We will probably start taking one pill a day for 3 more days then just stop. We are waiting to hear back from neuropsychologist to see what tests she wants to order and IF insurance will put up a fight.

  17. buddy

    buddy New Member

    I would do the same. It is inexcusable for a doctors office not to call for a medication emergency. What does ARNP mean (I'm guessing the last part is registered nurse practioner, but what is the A??) when my difficult child freaked out on Seroquel they said I could just stop it, but we were still at the first step in dosing. He was better 1.5 days later. I sure hope she gets well soon. I would hope that if family doctor was concerned he would have said so, but who knows? My docs have a plan with us that if one can't be reached, especially for medications, even to get a new rx if we need it, that they will cover for eachother. They dont work at the same places but they know that things happen and there is not an option not to have help with medications. Pray they still call tonight....
  18. ksm

    ksm Well-Known Member

    She is still sick and has a fever - that part is probably not related to Seroquel XR. And we have not had anymore gibberish talk. We have taken 1 pill a night for two days now. Wed I have an appointment with the therapist tomorrow and will discuss it with her too. I kinow she can't give "medication advice" but at least maybe you can tell from her answer what she is thinking.

    I think ARNP stands for Advanced Registered Nurse Practictioner. She does work under a psychiatrist in a town nearby. Several therapists I know have said good things about her - but I guess it is just the unavailability to her or her nurse is frustrating. She has been in this position for about 15 years. so not new to the job.

    Well, difficult child will be home today too. 100 degree temp this morning. I guess the tylenol/ibuprofen kept the fever down yesterday, but taking one at bedtime has worn off now. I know she will fail a class or two now... as now way she will be caught up by tomorrow. I don't feel like I can ask for more time - as these assignments were due at the end of last week... but the teachers were giving her (and others) time to hand the assignments end on the last day of the trimester.

    She has been in a fairly good spirits though... for being sick. KSM
  19. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    I'm glad you talked to the dr but so sorry there was no follow-through. I think your one-a-day plan, and then stop,is a good idea.
    Fingers crossed.
    I hope she feels better and the fever passes.
  20. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I realize I cannot give medical advice on here so take my post for what its worth. Im thinking now that your dtr has been down to what 50 mgs by now right? She should be able to come off it soon. I hope that whatever is going on with her is something totally different and she is just sick with one of the bad bugs that can hit in the fall. The gibberish does have me confused though.