Cannot Stand Him Right Now

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Castle Queen, Nov 3, 2013.

  1. Castle Queen

    Castle Queen Warrior in training

    I'm just fed up. I said I wanted difficult child gone. I don't know if he heard me. He's not sorry for anything, ever.

    He gouged the picture of Sprite's best friend(who is like a daughter to me) we had hanging on the refrigerator. It was a nice 5 X 7. Lied about it. I paid my credit card bill today, and somehow, even though we removed my card info from his accounts, there were 4 charges for Amazon video on demand. Lied about that too. I made him log into his Amazon account and my card was back on there. There are more holes in the walls, in the doors. Sprite is afraid of him at times when he is unmedicated (in the morning) or having rebound, like he did today because he lied to me about taking his step down medication.

    We went to a bereavement group yesterday. I thought it would be good for him and Sprite since they don't talk much about the loss of their dad to me or anyone. He goofed off the entire time we were there and made a big joke of it.

    At the end of my rope. Thinking of sending him to live down south with my parents but he'd probably make their health fail.
  2. LittleDudesMom

    LittleDudesMom Well-Known Member Staff Member

    So sorry Queen that things are so tough with difficult child right now.

    First and foremost, call your bank and tell them that you lost your card and need them to reissue. They will cancel that old number and the new one will be at your house usually within two days. Change your password for Amazon.

    Just kinda wondering out loud if his joking at the counselor's was his inability to deal with his feelings. I'm sorry that I don't remember the details of your ex, but did the kids have any type of relationship with him? It's only been six months and perhaps he's not handling this right now. When was the last time he saw his psychiatrist or therapist?

  3. Bunny

    Bunny Active Member

    Definitely call the bank and tell them your card is lost, and do not allow difficult child access to your new number.

    What did Sprite think of the bereavement group? Did she get anything out of it, or did she spend the time worrying about her brother goofing off while they were there? If she got something out of it, I would let her go alone so that she can get something out of it.

    Does your difficult child see a therapist? Maybe he would do better in a one on one setting until he is more able to deal with his feelings about the death of his father.
  4. Castle Queen

    Castle Queen Warrior in training

    Luckily Sprite was in a different age grouping and she did marvelous. It was only a day long group, so if I want the kids to attend something ongoing, I'll have to see what, if anything, is available in our area.
    difficult child saw therapist last Friday. Unfortunately he doesn't talk about his dad to therapist much either. (on the verge of posting a "How do you know when it's time to find a new therapist" thread...)

    difficult child heard me last night.:crying:THis morning he asked: "Do you really not want me anymore?" My heart about broke. I told him even adults say things they don't mean when they're angry. I told him the picture was special to his sister and not replaceable. Then he told me he had seen a commercial for something called Total Transformation and he wanted to try it. I guess it's some program to help ADHD kids.
  5. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Castle Queen-Be gentle with yourself. He knows you love him. Interesting what you wrote about Total Transformation. About 2 weeks ago my difficult child heard the commercial on the radio and told me that was what he needed!
  6. Confused

    Confused Guest

    Hugs :consoling: I know I have gotten frustrated because I told my kids maybe they should go with their dad if that make them happy :( (of course I want them here) So I understand what your going thru. We also say things when we are upset just as they do. I still feel guilty yes, but we all love our kids here and hopefully they will realize that.

    Glad Sprite did well!

    I have always meant to get that Total Transformation, its worth a try!!! Gonna look it up again tonight. Knight had a great idea, glad he thought of that because he will feel more willing to try it!! I think and hope- good luck!
  7. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    search for "total transformation" on this board... it's been discussed before.
  8. IT1967

    IT1967 Member

    Bunny has a good idea. Maybe a one on one therapist would work better for your son. I'm sorry you're going through such a tough time.
  9. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I understand wanting kids gone...especially as they enter that dreaded puberty and teen time. I wouldnt go back through that with my kids for a million dollars. I know I will have to do it with my grandchildren if I live that long and the whole thought of it fills me with dread. I have two of them that I think will be hell on wheels and one I have a feeling is going to be boy crazy very early. That one I may lock up in a

    A few months after I joined this board oh so many years ago I made a post titled something like "2 kids - Free to a good home". I had had enough of their antics at the time. Actually they are all grown up now and there are STILL times I wish I could ship them off to the French Foreign Legion.