Cannot STAND the manipulators in this family.

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by gcvmom, Jun 9, 2011.

  1. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    The inlaws are at it again.

    mother in law called my cell twice in the past two days. I missed the call and since she left no message I figured it wasn't important. Then she left a message on the house phone yesterday.

    TODAY she complains to husband that she's been trying to reach me and left multiple messages but I'm not returning her call!!!!!!!! OMG. Makes me want to actually slap that woman.

    And what's all the drama about? She wanted to know what time they should come to our house on July 4th. Because husband is driving them to the airport the next day (and by the way WE had to pay for their tickets....long story).

    Geez Louise -- it's a flippin' MONTH away and she's bent out of shape because I'm not calling her right back! And husband says she wants ME to personally INVITE them over because she otherwise she doesn't feel welcome!!!

    OMG I just want to scream sometimes. That woman needs to get a LIFE. I'm thinking she must've come from the same broom closet as Shari's people...
  2. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    Hmm... She doesn't feel welcome?

    Sounds to me like she is wearing out said welcome!!!
  3. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful


    I think I'd "forget" to invite her...........

    I was sooooooooo lucky with my in laws. husband was in a way........his were 2 states away and he rarely saw them. lol

    Sadly my girls didn't luck out so well.
  4. DaisyFace

    DaisyFace Love me...Love me not

    I don't mean to be dumb, here - but aren't these the people that keep inviting themselves???

    And now, they'd like to invite themselves again, but they want you to say it because the last several times this happened they didn't feel welcome?


    Sounds like a referesher course in Manners 101 is in order.
  5. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Oh please...can I please not invite myself to something? Please? Pretty please? Maybe if I sing it and tap dance to it I can get away with
  6. Star*

    Star* call 911

  7. Malika

    Malika Well-Known Member

    What is your husband's take on this?
  8. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    If you are handing out free airplane tickets, why not give them to us? You LIKE us! I am a wonderful houseguest - I will bake for you from scratch AND clean up afterwards!!!! All sorts of stuff, I can bake amazing things!!

    WHY would you agree to invite them when you don't LIKE them and don't trust them to be alone iwth your kids! I know there is some pressure because they will say awful things to the other inlaws, but maybe it is time to sit and have an honest talk with husband about how their actions make you feel. And then tell tehm that this year they are not welcome at the 4th, or you will contact them closer to the date when it fits YOUR schedule to invite them. I would use the economy as a reason to stop funding so many, if any, of their trips because it mostly seems liek they don't want to come see you, they just want you to pay for them to gamble.

    I know the pressure of inlaws, etc... but maybe if you and husband can talk honestly you will find that he is not liking the pressure and would welcome some excuse to have them not around and not calling expecting money so often. Does your husband realize taht many families do not fund the grandparents trips to do anything, much less to go squander money gambling? Is it time to figure out what you want to give them and limit your gifts/contributions to only those things you truly desire to give them, eliminating those things they pressure you into giving?

    It is hard to do this, esp for the child they raised with the expectation that when he was an adult he would HAVE to give them these things. But after a efw months or a year when things have settled and boundaries are becoming "usual" it feels so much better and you can get a lot closer to enjoying them instead of dreading them.

    Whatever you choose to do, I will support you.
  9. ML

    ML Guest

    I agree with Susie. Is husband at a point now where he might be willing to stop financing them? Or is their guilt hold on him still strong?
  10. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    Oh their guilt hold is VERY strong. And the problem is that they are sooo subtle, so passive about it, husband doesn't realize what a codependent mess he's in along with the rest of his sibs.

    Daisy, you hit the nail on the head: They want to clear their conscience by hearing ME tell them when to come over. SO juvenile. SO transparent. SO DISGUSTING.

    Sigh. Well it's for ONE night, and I'm not going to kill myself to clean up the guest room. I'll have husband help move the piles of junk so they can get to the beds, but that's IT. And I'm not ENTERTAINING them. They can tag along with whatever we do on the 4th, which is usually our free city fireworks show at the park.

    Right now, they are uncomfortable staying at their #2 daughter's house because her husband is being "MEAN" to them. I asked husband what he meant by that. Here's what's been going on:

    Apparently they (the daughter and her parents) went back to a casino last weekend (no doubt the daughter gave them money) and this time they won about $1300. Then they invited husband to meet them for breakfast, and the daughter (who's self esteem seems to be wrapped up in her ability to buy stuff for her parents) picked up the parents' breakfast. Her husband was ticked that the parents didn't use some of their winnings to pay for their own meal (they've had pretty much EVERYTHING bought for them by their kids since they've been out here the past month).

    Furthermore, the inlaws and daughter gave her husband crap when he bought himself a golf club a few weeks ago AND when he mentioned he'd like to retire soon (he's in his late 50s and is a field tech for commercial heating/air -- a very physically demanding job that's taking a toll on him now -- PLUS he works weekends to keep their family afloat). Yet the daughter/wife has racked up over $25,000 in credit card debt with her reckless and impulsive spending, has spent SO much time gambling at the casino that she's earned enough points for free hotel nights (she's given her parents FIVE hotel nights just during this trip out here), and even went out and bought herself a new car without consulting her husband!!! And they all have the gall to criticize him. Yeah, I think I'd be "MEAN" like that, too.

    What is WRONG with these people???
  11. Star*

    Star* call 911

    After all your years dealing with difficult child's - and ESPECIALLY and I do mean ESPECIALLY with YOUR WIT????????? You can turn the tables on these idiots?

    I get that you shouldn't HAVE to stoop to poop level - but sometimes you just have to fight fire with a BLOW torch.......and honey? I don't know ANYONE that comes closet to matching wits with Y.O.U. (raises eye brow) You're articulate, funny, clever, devilishly and hysterically funny......and I put the emphasis on devilsh....and funny. Plus just flat out cool. With a super C. Beat em at their own game. Give 'em a little shock and awww.......

    I mean when my mother in law was run over by her own car, by her own children? My first comment was - "MY WORD - I hope she had good insurance! God knows she woudn't have wanted to be put in any second rate,- flea-bag, hospice . Oh But what am I saying!? Was she at least run over with name brand tires. Goodness knows she hated retreads." And I'm not callous - but this is the same kind of crap that she spouted at anyone elses horror and loss. I felt in her honour I'd dignify her memory with the same fitting end so wherever she was she could hear how cold it sounded.

    Yeah GCV - you can do this.
  12. tiredmommy

    tiredmommy Site Moderator

    Wait... I thought you were flying out to see ME on the 4th?!?!?! :rofl:
  13. Andy

    Andy Active Member

    Hmmm - I think it contrary that in one hand she is demanding to know what time she should show up and in the next hand, she is demanding an invite from you. Shouldn't the invite situation have come first and don't worry about the time until after that? "O.K., I have now received permission to come on July 4th, next step, what time?"

    "What time should I come? Oh, you have to actually tell me that I can come!" Oh jeez!
  14. keista

    keista New Member

    WOW, just, WOW!

    I think your brother in law once removed should start practicing some financial detachment from his own wife. If she keeps doing this, there's no way he'll get to retire any time soon.

    Ah, WOW