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<blockquote data-quote="Love never ends" data-source="post: 688321" data-attributes="member: 20371"><p>Hello ... Thankyou for the reply I literally don't have anyone I can open up to about this as for a start I've had the most miserable few years ... She was involved with drugs from the toxic relationship and maybe before I'm so useless with drugs it's only weed I think the one you smoke .... She told me she was in a lesbian relationship and I was so nice to the girl we tried to make her feel welcome even though I did find it a little difficult as I felt little embarrassed as not been around two girls having a relationship, but I thought we can't help who we are so I will go with the flow and not pass judgement ... They stole things from the house .. The girlfriend worked out that I was so nervous of my daughter being beaten that she would phone for money and if I refused the girl would beat her silly ... So much so the police told me my daughters body chart was that of a 15 year domestic violence marriage ..This broke me as a person I don't care anymore about me or life as I fought so hard to get this dangerous girl of the streets and who is already on probation for attacking my daughter .. Yet every avenue comes back to her being in care and no further action ... My daughter at least is out of harms way so I'm greatful for that ... My husband won't have her home as he said she had bought nothing but trouble to the door ( I do understand but she had a useless bio father and then gets this one who really she could never do right even if she was the perfect child ) I feel as a mum maybe I should have walked away but I was scared I had nothing and no one so thought if I gave her my love it would be enough .... After the refuge she will be put into a room in a shared house and that's when my panic will set in again the type of shared house they showed us seem to have drinkers outside and gangs outside .. She follows and with a room no bigger than a cell I'm so scared she will go back into bad company ....my head spins as she has no real friends now and so she wants me to take her out everyday and I do because I don't want her to get down ... Today i just pulled the car over and sobbed I don't get five minutes to think and then my husband still expects everything done in the house and dinner on the table etc so my day is for those two and the rest of the time I'm miles away in worry what tomo will bring .... Her bio father I can only describe as dull of feelings not nasty not nice just blank ... He has a wife and little girl aged 10 and step son same age as my daughter he shows then much more love and again I carry the guilt for that as I think If she had a real dad about would she be different ... I then have to deal with the all the nosy mums of the children my daughter went to school with asking me how's your daughter ( knowing full well they know how she is as just by the look on there faces they are almost mocking me ) My daughter puts her whole buisiness up on face book and i have to try to hold my head high after all these things are posted .... Hey step father in my opinion pushed her out ... From little he would show me attention and leave her out .. He would want holidays alone and he holds a very good job but almost resented a penny being spent on her yet with me I could spend as I wanted ... I just feel a failure and she often asks me why I stayed with my husband after he made her feel that way .. That's making me feel awful and a very bad mum .. I haven't had much love as a kid myself so didn't know how a family should be its only after years of seeing others I realise that he should have done more with her ( not money ) I mean proper family things .. Today has been a bad day and it's 2 am in the morning in England and here I am laying awake wondering if I will ever feel happy again or worth anything as I seem to have well and truly mucked up the mum job X</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Love never ends, post: 688321, member: 20371"] Hello ... Thankyou for the reply I literally don't have anyone I can open up to about this as for a start I've had the most miserable few years ... She was involved with drugs from the toxic relationship and maybe before I'm so useless with drugs it's only weed I think the one you smoke .... She told me she was in a lesbian relationship and I was so nice to the girl we tried to make her feel welcome even though I did find it a little difficult as I felt little embarrassed as not been around two girls having a relationship, but I thought we can't help who we are so I will go with the flow and not pass judgement ... They stole things from the house .. The girlfriend worked out that I was so nervous of my daughter being beaten that she would phone for money and if I refused the girl would beat her silly ... So much so the police told me my daughters body chart was that of a 15 year domestic violence marriage ..This broke me as a person I don't care anymore about me or life as I fought so hard to get this dangerous girl of the streets and who is already on probation for attacking my daughter .. Yet every avenue comes back to her being in care and no further action ... My daughter at least is out of harms way so I'm greatful for that ... My husband won't have her home as he said she had bought nothing but trouble to the door ( I do understand but she had a useless bio father and then gets this one who really she could never do right even if she was the perfect child ) I feel as a mum maybe I should have walked away but I was scared I had nothing and no one so thought if I gave her my love it would be enough .... After the refuge she will be put into a room in a shared house and that's when my panic will set in again the type of shared house they showed us seem to have drinkers outside and gangs outside .. She follows and with a room no bigger than a cell I'm so scared she will go back into bad company ....my head spins as she has no real friends now and so she wants me to take her out everyday and I do because I don't want her to get down ... Today i just pulled the car over and sobbed I don't get five minutes to think and then my husband still expects everything done in the house and dinner on the table etc so my day is for those two and the rest of the time I'm miles away in worry what tomo will bring .... Her bio father I can only describe as dull of feelings not nasty not nice just blank ... He has a wife and little girl aged 10 and step son same age as my daughter he shows then much more love and again I carry the guilt for that as I think If she had a real dad about would she be different ... I then have to deal with the all the nosy mums of the children my daughter went to school with asking me how's your daughter ( knowing full well they know how she is as just by the look on there faces they are almost mocking me ) My daughter puts her whole buisiness up on face book and i have to try to hold my head high after all these things are posted .... Hey step father in my opinion pushed her out ... From little he would show me attention and leave her out .. He would want holidays alone and he holds a very good job but almost resented a penny being spent on her yet with me I could spend as I wanted ... I just feel a failure and she often asks me why I stayed with my husband after he made her feel that way .. That's making me feel awful and a very bad mum .. I haven't had much love as a kid myself so didn't know how a family should be its only after years of seeing others I realise that he should have done more with her ( not money ) I mean proper family things .. Today has been a bad day and it's 2 am in the morning in England and here I am laying awake wondering if I will ever feel happy again or worth anything as I seem to have well and truly mucked up the mum job X [/QUOTE]
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