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Can't shake the guilt
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<blockquote data-quote="Tanya M" data-source="post: 725756" data-attributes="member: 18516"><p>This is the same with my son. My son also thinks because "I have what I have" that I should just give to him. I remember one time when my son asked for money and I told him no, his response was "I know you have the money so why won't you just give it to me". It's like [USER=1233]@susiestar[/USER] was saying about how they demand an explanation. Years ago, I would get tripped up by this and would try to explain why I wouldn't give him any money which just added fuel to the fire and would turn into an ugly scene. Now, I have no problem at all telling him "my answer is no and I do not owe you any kind of explanation"</p><p></p><p></p><p>Of course he would as long as someone else is footing the bill for it. My son has been a homeless drifter/couch surfer for years. He has told me he loves his life, that is until he burns his bridges and can't find someone to sponge off of, then he's desperate.</p><p>My son told me when he gets out of jail sometime later in 2018 he can't wait to get started on being a pot farmer. While the idea of that does not thrill me I accept that it's not my choice. Here's the thing, if he wants to be a pot farmer so be it, but be successful at it. Again, it comes back to wanting it all but not wanting to do the work. Only time will tell.</p><p></p><p>My son will be 36 next month. I still have hope for him but I do not become obsessed over it. The most important thing I can do, that you can do and all other parents do, is to live our lives for ourselves as best we can. I'm not getting any younger and I wasted enough of my time and energy worrying about my son. I will always love him but that does not mean I have to trust him or help him. Been there, done that, have 10 T-shirts!!</p><p></p><p>I wish you all the best for the New Year!!</p><p></p><p>Hang in there.</p><p><img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/emoticons/notalone.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":notalone:" title="notalone :notalone:" data-shortname=":notalone:" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Tanya M, post: 725756, member: 18516"] This is the same with my son. My son also thinks because "I have what I have" that I should just give to him. I remember one time when my son asked for money and I told him no, his response was "I know you have the money so why won't you just give it to me". It's like [USER=1233]@susiestar[/USER] was saying about how they demand an explanation. Years ago, I would get tripped up by this and would try to explain why I wouldn't give him any money which just added fuel to the fire and would turn into an ugly scene. Now, I have no problem at all telling him "my answer is no and I do not owe you any kind of explanation" Of course he would as long as someone else is footing the bill for it. My son has been a homeless drifter/couch surfer for years. He has told me he loves his life, that is until he burns his bridges and can't find someone to sponge off of, then he's desperate. My son told me when he gets out of jail sometime later in 2018 he can't wait to get started on being a pot farmer. While the idea of that does not thrill me I accept that it's not my choice. Here's the thing, if he wants to be a pot farmer so be it, but be successful at it. Again, it comes back to wanting it all but not wanting to do the work. Only time will tell. My son will be 36 next month. I still have hope for him but I do not become obsessed over it. The most important thing I can do, that you can do and all other parents do, is to live our lives for ourselves as best we can. I'm not getting any younger and I wasted enough of my time and energy worrying about my son. I will always love him but that does not mean I have to trust him or help him. Been there, done that, have 10 T-shirts!! I wish you all the best for the New Year!! Hang in there. :notalone: [/QUOTE]
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