Merry Christmas everyone !!! I so want to enjoy this holiday season, but the closer it gets I get more and more depressed about my daughter and grandson. Even though it is so much better not having to deal with my daughter I also wonder if I will ever Have any kind of relationship with her. Obviously she doesn't have a desire for me to be in her life, she has crossed me and her sister and brother completely she talks about her second family like they are her actual family. I have tried numerous times to see if I can get my grandson. His dad will not answer my texts or voice mail. Now he has a new phone and I don't know the number. I am not going to just show up at the house. I have no idea what I would walk into.I haven't spoken with my daughter in 2 years now. My life is good except for that. I know if she gets back in my life it will be hell all over again, but the mom in me longs for my family to all be together. I don't know what to do about my grandson. I feel like he is just going to feel like I abandoned him. I wish I was a stronger personality type. But I deal with depression and anxiety too. That makes it twice as hard.