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can't trust anyone!
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 640248" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Hi there and welcome to the board.</p><p></p><p>Unfortunately, yes, you found out she is no friend. However, the issue is really not her, it's your son. Although your friend, who isn't your friend at all, is probably somebody you should never speak to again even at work (let's just said...I wouldn't), your son can find pot easily and booze. If not her, he'd find it from somebody else. I'm a lot confused as to how this woman even knows your son and went to a concert with him? He is homeless?</p><p></p><p>Truly, your son is underage for drinking, but he isn't a kid. He's legally a man, no matter how emotionally young he is. I know people who have allowed their underage kids and friends to drink in their homes. I don't approve of it but it isn't something you can stop from happening in the world. It is your son who has to stop wanting these things. It is on him. I had a daughter who used drugs and even homeschooling her did not stop her from being able to get out of the house (while we were sleeping) to get her drugs of choice and see her "friends" of choice. Until she wanted to stop, she did not stop. No matter what we did. And she was mostly under 19 when she used so we had legal rights.</p><p></p><p>I am sorry this "friend" (cough, cough) betrayed your trust. She sounds like a sleazeball. Does your son work there?</p><p></p><p>I do think it's best to know little about our grown kids when they are doing wrong things, including not checking FB. In my opinion, it doesn't help them and it hurts us and one thing I have learned: WE MATTER TOO! Our health and well being is just as important as theirs or we are no good for ourselves, our jobs, our other loved ones, our friends, our hobbies...we can end up having no life at all accept willing the offending adult child to change. Nobody can change another person at all. It is 100% up to the person to change. We don't have t hat kind of power. But we can change how we react to others and make our own lives better. We have 100% control over ourselves <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /> This is a good thing!</p><p></p><p>I am sorry you are going through this. Is there more to the story you want to share? We are always here...</p><p></p><p>Hugs.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 640248, member: 1550"] Hi there and welcome to the board. Unfortunately, yes, you found out she is no friend. However, the issue is really not her, it's your son. Although your friend, who isn't your friend at all, is probably somebody you should never speak to again even at work (let's just said...I wouldn't), your son can find pot easily and booze. If not her, he'd find it from somebody else. I'm a lot confused as to how this woman even knows your son and went to a concert with him? He is homeless? Truly, your son is underage for drinking, but he isn't a kid. He's legally a man, no matter how emotionally young he is. I know people who have allowed their underage kids and friends to drink in their homes. I don't approve of it but it isn't something you can stop from happening in the world. It is your son who has to stop wanting these things. It is on him. I had a daughter who used drugs and even homeschooling her did not stop her from being able to get out of the house (while we were sleeping) to get her drugs of choice and see her "friends" of choice. Until she wanted to stop, she did not stop. No matter what we did. And she was mostly under 19 when she used so we had legal rights. I am sorry this "friend" (cough, cough) betrayed your trust. She sounds like a sleazeball. Does your son work there? I do think it's best to know little about our grown kids when they are doing wrong things, including not checking FB. In my opinion, it doesn't help them and it hurts us and one thing I have learned: WE MATTER TOO! Our health and well being is just as important as theirs or we are no good for ourselves, our jobs, our other loved ones, our friends, our hobbies...we can end up having no life at all accept willing the offending adult child to change. Nobody can change another person at all. It is 100% up to the person to change. We don't have t hat kind of power. But we can change how we react to others and make our own lives better. We have 100% control over ourselves :) This is a good thing! I am sorry you are going through this. Is there more to the story you want to share? We are always here... Hugs. [/QUOTE]
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