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Car-gone, take me away!
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 638178" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>HI there. I don't know how much I can write. I have to go to work, something most difficult child's find a foreign word<img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></p><p></p><p>I wouldn't even think about getting him a car. He is intoxicated while he drives. Next time he could be killed or kill someone else. My daughter crashed up three cars and was sued for about $14,000 in one accident. The first car she ruined was ours and we cut off the car. She managed to get to her job at Walmart. God forbid she not work and not have drug money. I give her that much. She always worked as we gave her nothing.</p><p></p><p>The second car her brother bought her, although we warned him. *CRACH!* The third car a clueless, druggy friend let her drive and she hurt somebody in that accident. </p><p></p><p>When she finally straightened out her life, she moved to another state to live with straight brother who had no problem tossing her to the wolves if she even lit up a cigarette. He forced her to get a job. She did. There was no public transportation in his suburb. She walked to and from, in all kinds of weather. He did not drive her or make it easy on her. She had to clean the house and cook for him and his roommates and she knew he was serious about throwing her out, unlike her softie parents who wavered, so sh e quit...everything, including cigarettes. She was very lonely for a long time, then she met her boyfriend and eleven years later they are still together and living an acceptably good life. I am very pleased. But we did go through hell-o first. </p><p></p><p>Our drugged kids find ways to get to parties and to buy drugs. They can find ways to get to work, if they even WANT to work, without owning a car, which, in their lethal hands, is a weapon. </p><p></p><p>In our house, my husband and I never even drank, so, yes, we were puzzled when Daughter started doing all sorts of drugs and we didn't even know the extent of how bad it had been until after she quit. She hid it well and did work and manage to go to Beauty School (with A grades) while high as a kite. She says it was cocaine and meth and snorted ADHD drugs, which were crushed in a pillcrusher. Also some over the counter drugs that the kids know how to use to get high. Now there is Spice.There wasn't that at the time...the drug world evolves (sigh).</p><p></p><p>Think about putting a kid on possibly meth or coaine or even spice or pot or alcohol behind the wheel of another car. I did.</p><p></p><p>If they are motivated enough, they will find a way. If not, we just handed t hem a free car to make it easier for them to get to that next drug party.</p><p></p><p>I am sorry you had to join us, but welcome to our nightmare...we do support one another. Most of us are working hard on detachment and being good to ourselves, rather than trying to fix our grown kids. We can only change one person in the wkorld and that is ourselves. Although we can't change our kids, we can certainly change our reactions to their insanity, and thus get peace and move on and have a good life.</p><p></p><p>Hugs for your hurting heart. Have to go to work. Try to have a great day, even though your son is again in trouble. Get off the merry-go-round. I like this: "Not my moneky; not my cricus." I probably said it wrong...lol. Somebody will correct me.</p><p></p><p>Take care. We are all in your corner 100%.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 638178, member: 1550"] HI there. I don't know how much I can write. I have to go to work, something most difficult child's find a foreign word:) I wouldn't even think about getting him a car. He is intoxicated while he drives. Next time he could be killed or kill someone else. My daughter crashed up three cars and was sued for about $14,000 in one accident. The first car she ruined was ours and we cut off the car. She managed to get to her job at Walmart. God forbid she not work and not have drug money. I give her that much. She always worked as we gave her nothing. The second car her brother bought her, although we warned him. *CRACH!* The third car a clueless, druggy friend let her drive and she hurt somebody in that accident. When she finally straightened out her life, she moved to another state to live with straight brother who had no problem tossing her to the wolves if she even lit up a cigarette. He forced her to get a job. She did. There was no public transportation in his suburb. She walked to and from, in all kinds of weather. He did not drive her or make it easy on her. She had to clean the house and cook for him and his roommates and she knew he was serious about throwing her out, unlike her softie parents who wavered, so sh e quit...everything, including cigarettes. She was very lonely for a long time, then she met her boyfriend and eleven years later they are still together and living an acceptably good life. I am very pleased. But we did go through hell-o first. Our drugged kids find ways to get to parties and to buy drugs. They can find ways to get to work, if they even WANT to work, without owning a car, which, in their lethal hands, is a weapon. In our house, my husband and I never even drank, so, yes, we were puzzled when Daughter started doing all sorts of drugs and we didn't even know the extent of how bad it had been until after she quit. She hid it well and did work and manage to go to Beauty School (with A grades) while high as a kite. She says it was cocaine and meth and snorted ADHD drugs, which were crushed in a pillcrusher. Also some over the counter drugs that the kids know how to use to get high. Now there is Spice.There wasn't that at the time...the drug world evolves (sigh). Think about putting a kid on possibly meth or coaine or even spice or pot or alcohol behind the wheel of another car. I did. If they are motivated enough, they will find a way. If not, we just handed t hem a free car to make it easier for them to get to that next drug party. I am sorry you had to join us, but welcome to our nightmare...we do support one another. Most of us are working hard on detachment and being good to ourselves, rather than trying to fix our grown kids. We can only change one person in the wkorld and that is ourselves. Although we can't change our kids, we can certainly change our reactions to their insanity, and thus get peace and move on and have a good life. Hugs for your hurting heart. Have to go to work. Try to have a great day, even though your son is again in trouble. Get off the merry-go-round. I like this: "Not my moneky; not my cricus." I probably said it wrong...lol. Somebody will correct me. Take care. We are all in your corner 100%. [/QUOTE]
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