mstang67chic
Going Green
I was thinking about you and wondering how you were doing. Sending hugs.
Carolanne
- Thread starter mstang67chic
- Start date
Big Bad Kitty
lolcat
Thanks for starting this, Mustang.
You've been on my mind too, Carolann. Do check in when you can.
Hugs.
You've been on my mind too, Carolann. Do check in when you can.
Hugs.
Hi Ladies,
First, let me apologize...I am sorry I haven't been by in some time but will explain that.
I ended my marriage on May 10. I have been thinking of doing that for a very long time in fact. But the final straw was husband telling me to shut my f'ing mouth when I defended a statement my 12 yr old made. The next morning, I packed a bag for me, my little guy and one daughter and walked out. I gave Becky the choice of coming....she chose to stay with her dad.
I looked forward 30 years and saw the same thing all the time....deep lonliness, carrying everyone and everything on my shoulders and I truly wanted to end my life and would have if not for the fact that my children do need me in some way, especially little man.
I had reached the end of any strength I had, didn't know which way to turn or what to do. The pills and blades were so very tempting that night. Somehow though, I found the strength not to do it and choose instead to end a marriage that should have ended years ago.
I am not alone however....but have finally accepted the love of a man who was always patiently waiting for me....he has always been in the background of my life, waiting he said, for me to realize that life with husband would cost me mine. He has loved me quietly while allowing me to try and salvage my marriage....
So, I packed the bags and walked away from everything to be with the one person in this entire world who truly loves and honours me. Kate has gone back to her dad's....it's familiar and I still see and talk with her all the time. She spends weekends with us but Becky will not even speak to me and that tears my heart. John has also started talking with Jessica and between the two of them they have decided that I was the cause of all her grief, that I put the molestation idea into her head, that all I've gone through with her never happened...that I made it all up.
My future lies with this man....it's like coming home when he holds me now....we have an open honest relationship and talk every night before bed...no lies, no names, no hurt....this is where I want to be....and I deserve it so much
Carolanne
First, let me apologize...I am sorry I haven't been by in some time but will explain that.
I ended my marriage on May 10. I have been thinking of doing that for a very long time in fact. But the final straw was husband telling me to shut my f'ing mouth when I defended a statement my 12 yr old made. The next morning, I packed a bag for me, my little guy and one daughter and walked out. I gave Becky the choice of coming....she chose to stay with her dad.
I looked forward 30 years and saw the same thing all the time....deep lonliness, carrying everyone and everything on my shoulders and I truly wanted to end my life and would have if not for the fact that my children do need me in some way, especially little man.
I had reached the end of any strength I had, didn't know which way to turn or what to do. The pills and blades were so very tempting that night. Somehow though, I found the strength not to do it and choose instead to end a marriage that should have ended years ago.
I am not alone however....but have finally accepted the love of a man who was always patiently waiting for me....he has always been in the background of my life, waiting he said, for me to realize that life with husband would cost me mine. He has loved me quietly while allowing me to try and salvage my marriage....
So, I packed the bags and walked away from everything to be with the one person in this entire world who truly loves and honours me. Kate has gone back to her dad's....it's familiar and I still see and talk with her all the time. She spends weekends with us but Becky will not even speak to me and that tears my heart. John has also started talking with Jessica and between the two of them they have decided that I was the cause of all her grief, that I put the molestation idea into her head, that all I've gone through with her never happened...that I made it all up.
My future lies with this man....it's like coming home when he holds me now....we have an open honest relationship and talk every night before bed...no lies, no names, no hurt....this is where I want to be....and I deserve it so much
Carolanne
mstang67chic
Going Green
Wow. I'm always sorry to hear about a marriage ending but it sounds like this was a good thing for you. I'm sorry about Becky....give her time. That's a lot to take in and process right away. I hope she comes around.
I'm glad to hear you're happy. Sounds like Mr. I was always here is a good one. (He does know that if he treats you wrong, he's got a lot of people to answer to, right?)
Take care of yourself and check in when you can.
I'm glad to hear you're happy. Sounds like Mr. I was always here is a good one. (He does know that if he treats you wrong, he's got a lot of people to answer to, right?)
Take care of yourself and check in when you can.
trinityroyal
Well-Known Member
Carolanne,
I'm so glad to hear that you have found peace and contentment.
It does sound like leaving the marriage was the right decision for you.
Saying prayers that time will sort out everything between you, and Becky and Kate. As for your H and your difficult child, you need to focus on yourself and happiness with Mr. I Was Always There. Your H and difficult child have put you through the ringer, and you need time to heal from that and regain your strength.
Trinity
I'm so glad to hear that you have found peace and contentment.
It does sound like leaving the marriage was the right decision for you.
Saying prayers that time will sort out everything between you, and Becky and Kate. As for your H and your difficult child, you need to focus on yourself and happiness with Mr. I Was Always There. Your H and difficult child have put you through the ringer, and you need time to heal from that and regain your strength.
Trinity
Thank you everyone. Yes he knows he has plenty of people to answer to if he doesn't treat me right...lol. We are taking it one day at a time and going slow. He reassures me constantly of his love and commitment to me. He's letting me find out who I am and supporting it the entire way.
I have had Kate for a couple visits now and she's starting to talk....and even utters a few words to Paul now. But Becky is still Becky...calls him a freak(he's tattooed and has both ears pierced...my big bad biker boy with a heart and soul of gold) but I cut her off quickly when she starts. She still won't visit and is enjoying running that house there to the hilt.
On the funny side....ex-husband left a message on my cell phone today "ummm how do you use the washer?"...lmao...it was so funny to hear! He is still putting or should I say trying to put me through hoops but I am slowly pulling away from that....and really finding more strength than I thought I had.
Thanks ladies.....you all are dolls
Carolanne
I have had Kate for a couple visits now and she's starting to talk....and even utters a few words to Paul now. But Becky is still Becky...calls him a freak(he's tattooed and has both ears pierced...my big bad biker boy with a heart and soul of gold) but I cut her off quickly when she starts. She still won't visit and is enjoying running that house there to the hilt.
On the funny side....ex-husband left a message on my cell phone today "ummm how do you use the washer?"...lmao...it was so funny to hear! He is still putting or should I say trying to put me through hoops but I am slowly pulling away from that....and really finding more strength than I thought I had.
Thanks ladies.....you all are dolls
Carolanne
donna723
Well-Known Member
Carolanne - I'm glad too that you've found some peace and happiness. It's never easy leaving a marriage but sometimes it's the best thing, the only thing, to do! Sometimes getting away from the situation allows you to see it much clearer.
If my ex had ever called me about how to work the washer, my instructions probably would have been ... "Put in about half a bottle of laundry soap and pack the clothes in good and tight ..."!
If my ex had ever called me about how to work the washer, my instructions probably would have been ... "Put in about half a bottle of laundry soap and pack the clothes in good and tight ..."!
