caryatid
New Member
Hello!
I'm new here and was directed to this forum from another one that I am on. I'm also new to dealing with conduct disorders. It's not that the disorder itself is new in my family, just that up until now we had just assumed his symptoms were a normal expression of stress.
I'm jumping ahead of myself. Let me start over.
Hi, my name is Dana. I'm a 31yo "mom" to 4 and a Montessori kindergarten teacher.
easy child 1- "Bunny" age 11
difficult child- "Professor" age 9
easy child 2-"Dr Destructo" age 6
easy child 3- "Boo" age 4
husband and I have primary custody of his two children (Bunny and the Professor) from his previous marriage. We have a very close relationship with his DEX and her husband. At first we thought the Professor was simply reacting to his parent's divorce, our marriage, the arrival of two new siblings, moving to another city, etc... (all of which happened before he was 6) But now it is becoming clear that there is a much bigger problem.
A few years ago he was diagnosed with Sensory Integration Disorder (SID) and/or ADD (since the two are often confused for one another). Notes came home from school, but every parent/teacher conference was basically very positive. I'm pretty sure they were simply blowing smoke up my keister. It wasn't until 2 years ago when his grades were *horrible* and I got a job at the Montessori school that we decided to pull him out of public school. Being next door to him all day really showed me what all those notes and conferences *weren't* saying.
Professor was hyper, had extreme mood swings, would fall into depression over something small (like a wrong answer on a paper), had no sense of personal space, always spoke at top volume, had an extreme temper (last year he flipped over his desk, would throw things around, etc...), occasionally talked of killing himself, is constantly whining and arguing, has low self esteem, low tolerance to pain of any sort, and thinks that medicine is the magic cure-all. (this is the short list)
Knowing that chemical dependence and depression run in the family , all his parents got together and decided that something needed to be done, but medication would be a last resort (unless his depression got worse).
He has been in counseling for several months, and at first it really seemed to help. But now he can't seem to pull himself together when he looses control, even when I walk him through the steps his counselor taught us. We got him into a purely defensive style of martial arts to help him with his temper and control. Even that helped a little, but not much.
Now, and for a while longer, I am his teacher. His regular teacher had to take a leave of absence, and moving him into my room seemed to be the only solution. (Very small school. His entire class consisted of him and his brother) I'm not sure if his explosions are due to his disorders, or if it is just a complete and total lack of respect for me.
He yells at me in class, argues and whines constantly, throws things around, demands my immediate attention even when I am obviously in the middle of a lesson with another student, the list goes on, but I'll spare you.
I'm not sure what I'm asking, or if I'm just venting.
There are days when I just have to walk out of the room and cry for a while because I"m so stressed and angry I don't know what to do. (Luckily my co-teacher understands).
I want to turn the world upside down to help him, but I don't know where to begin! We are looking for an Occupational Therapist (OT), and am considering trying the Feingold diet.
Any advice would be appreciated.