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Catching up....
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<blockquote data-quote="Mikey" data-source="post: 67791" data-attributes="member: 3579"><p>Sorry MB, but re: <div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Quote:</div><div class="ubbcode-body">You may think the anger is protecting you, but it isn't. It just eats away at you and resolves nothing.</div></div></p><p>You're partially right. It does eat away at me. Every day. But just tonight, McWeedy admitted that he's truly afraid we'll kick him out. Personally, I think he's more worried about losing his "living ameneties" than he is losing contact with us. <em>C'est la vie</em> (or, should I say <em>"C'est la guerre"</em>?)</p><p></p><p>He then starts in with the pity party of "I've quit drugging", to which I replied "No, you haven't".</p><p></p><p>Hunh?</p><p></p><p>"You may not be using at the moment, but you haven't quit drugging. It's that you've finally been given sufficient motivation to stop doing illegal and harmful things while living at my house. That's not "stopping", that's "coping because of fear".</p><p></p><p>To which he wholeheartedly agreed. I finally told him that I no longer care if he gets his life straight. He either will or he won't. But while he's living in my house, on my dime, he will abide by the same rules as everyone else, or he was welcome to try his own hand at self-sufficiency.</p><p></p><p>Did I mention this was during his conversation with wife? I'll take it as a good sign that she didn't jump in on me during the conversation, nor did she try to defend McWeedy afterwards. That fact didn't go unnoticed by McWeedy, either. I think he realizes that this weekend's antics probably cost him the only ally he had left in our house.</p><p></p><p>And, to go back to the original topic, it was my anger and his resultant fear that brought us to this point. I think it's terrible that our relationship has devolved to such a state, but it is his choice. And if I can't get him to do the right thing for his own benefit, then at least I <strong>will</strong> have control of my own house. If he hates it so much here, and feels so little connection to the family that we don't register on his mind when he's contemplating bad things, then the front door is open and I won't stand in his way.</p><p></p><p>After tonight, I don't think wife will, either. Her call, her conversation, her decision. She's the captain, I was just along for the ride. I'll wait and see where the boat goes now.....</p><p></p><p>Mikey</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Mikey, post: 67791, member: 3579"] Sorry MB, but re: <div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Quote:</div><div class="ubbcode-body">You may think the anger is protecting you, but it isn't. It just eats away at you and resolves nothing.</div></div> You're partially right. It does eat away at me. Every day. But just tonight, McWeedy admitted that he's truly afraid we'll kick him out. Personally, I think he's more worried about losing his "living ameneties" than he is losing contact with us. [i]C'est la vie[/i] (or, should I say [i]"C'est la guerre"[/i]?) He then starts in with the pity party of "I've quit drugging", to which I replied "No, you haven't". Hunh? "You may not be using at the moment, but you haven't quit drugging. It's that you've finally been given sufficient motivation to stop doing illegal and harmful things while living at my house. That's not "stopping", that's "coping because of fear". To which he wholeheartedly agreed. I finally told him that I no longer care if he gets his life straight. He either will or he won't. But while he's living in my house, on my dime, he will abide by the same rules as everyone else, or he was welcome to try his own hand at self-sufficiency. Did I mention this was during his conversation with wife? I'll take it as a good sign that she didn't jump in on me during the conversation, nor did she try to defend McWeedy afterwards. That fact didn't go unnoticed by McWeedy, either. I think he realizes that this weekend's antics probably cost him the only ally he had left in our house. And, to go back to the original topic, it was my anger and his resultant fear that brought us to this point. I think it's terrible that our relationship has devolved to such a state, but it is his choice. And if I can't get him to do the right thing for his own benefit, then at least I [b]will[/b] have control of my own house. If he hates it so much here, and feels so little connection to the family that we don't register on his mind when he's contemplating bad things, then the front door is open and I won't stand in his way. After tonight, I don't think wife will, either. Her call, her conversation, her decision. She's the captain, I was just along for the ride. I'll wait and see where the boat goes now..... Mikey [/QUOTE]
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