I have been dreading the conversation with my difficult child about what he does after rehab. I really don't want him to come back and live here, in fact I think it is a bad idea for all of us. I held back when he called on TG and did not ask him his plans, figuring that is a conversation to have with therapists etc. However I do feel that if he really wants to come back to this area then we will buy him the plane ticket to do so. Not so he can live here.... but I do feel we found a place fo rhim out of state and his understanding when he agreed to go was that we would pay for him to come back. It would feel wrong for me to send him out of state and say by the way you are stuck there, we will not help you get back. So I would not do that. He called me tonight and said I have a question. Did you say that you would not let me come back??? I asked where he heard it. He heard it from a friend he was in trouble with, who probably heard something inaccurate from his mom. So I told my son that I didn't think it was necessarily a good idea for him to come back, or that we would want him to live at home but if he was determined to come back to the area that yes we would pay for a plane ticket. He calmed right down. He also said that he decided to call and ask before just flipping out on us which is a definite improvement. He also responded to my comment about livign at home that was something to talk about with the help of a therapist. I agree. So at least he knows we are not assuming he will just come back home. I feel that it is important that what he does after rehab is his decision. I can help ask questions so that hopefully he thinks about what is best. I don't however want to manipulate him into staying there, or have him feel like I am trying to control him. That will not work at all and will keep this from being his journey.