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Caught in the middle
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 705416" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>You can't. You have no control over either daughter. So you do the best you can. You can't make your oldest act in a decent, supportive way. Maybe she is jealous. Who knows? She has no right to tell you what to do or say. Trashing her sister on social media is trashy and immature.</p><p></p><p>If this were me, I think best action is to firmly tell oldest that this is her problem, and that you won't listen to her talking about it anymore nor will you tell youngest anything she demands. The marriage is not her business and it is insane of her to expect you to condemn anything. Something is very off about oldest. Has she always been dufficult?</p><p></p><p>We all like family harmony but since we can not control those in our families sometimes we have to make same decisions that tick off another member. It happens a lot. So since you can't control the situation then just do what you know is right. You may have to limit contact with oldest and stop reading her social media. Yes, your relationship will suffer if she expects you to jump when she says so and gets huffy if you dont listen to her. But thats a fault of personality.</p><p></p><p>Good luck. You know what is right and wrong here and oldest is forcing you to make a choice. I'd ignore her tantrum and enjoy the wedding.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 705416, member: 1550"] You can't. You have no control over either daughter. So you do the best you can. You can't make your oldest act in a decent, supportive way. Maybe she is jealous. Who knows? She has no right to tell you what to do or say. Trashing her sister on social media is trashy and immature. If this were me, I think best action is to firmly tell oldest that this is her problem, and that you won't listen to her talking about it anymore nor will you tell youngest anything she demands. The marriage is not her business and it is insane of her to expect you to condemn anything. Something is very off about oldest. Has she always been dufficult? We all like family harmony but since we can not control those in our families sometimes we have to make same decisions that tick off another member. It happens a lot. So since you can't control the situation then just do what you know is right. You may have to limit contact with oldest and stop reading her social media. Yes, your relationship will suffer if she expects you to jump when she says so and gets huffy if you dont listen to her. But thats a fault of personality. Good luck. You know what is right and wrong here and oldest is forcing you to make a choice. I'd ignore her tantrum and enjoy the wedding. [/QUOTE]
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Caught in the middle
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