Change in plans...meeting tomorrow changed too...

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by buddy, Feb 21, 2012.

  1. buddy

    buddy New Member

    So, I was to meet with the law advocate to review the incident report and go over everything to solidify our game plan. I got the psychologist and home coordinator to come with me tomorrow but it turns out that advocate called the Special Education director and asked to meet her before the larger meeting. She talked more and ended up saying lets just have a meeting with mr sp. ed. admin, director of Special Education. coordinator for sp ed for our school and me, law advocate and my two home program people. I got a letter from our Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI) coordinator and she said to not worry if anyone calls cps on ME for anything she will set them straight.

    So, the teacher, psychiatric, principal etc.. are all out of the loop. mr sp ed. is to bring all of Q's school things to me....

    Advocate called a CPI trainer and reviewed the incident report and there are glaring problems so they do have a problem. She is calling the state today and filing with both dept of ed and psychiatric association.

    That does not make me feel good at all. I dont like people to have problems. I do not want any other child to be mistreated though.

    Q is actually dealing ok with things moment to moment, but once in a while gets very stuck asking questions etc. He then has trouble falling asleep but his AVE unit has put him to sleep for three nights in a row now... that is a great thing. He also played outside and did well. He is really afraid of coyotes and foxes right now for some reason. Just general anxiety increasing so it comes up in other fears? I dont know...

    Did I say that Q's doctor wrote a note saying it would be unhealthy for him to attend school at this time so the sp ed director has already said they will provide home bound teaching for him until we agree to another idea. Advocate says now is the time to ask for the moon because all indications are that they are not so comfortable, which they should feel since this is so wrong. I hope it really plays out that way.

    My problem, I feel like I can't trust anyone so dont even know what to ask for.
    Lasted edited by : Feb 21, 2012
  2. buddy

    buddy New Member

    May I just add that I am actually loving not having to worry about my phone ringing to go pick up Q. The doctor just called to send the letter off.... she said she worded it very strongly but not to inflame. she is really good.
  3. keista

    keista New Member

    Ask your advocate.

    Other than that it sounds like it's going well. Too bad it had to come to this, but hopefully you will get the sun as well as the moon for Q now.
  4. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    Buddy, sometimes I find it helps to re-phrase things like this.
    You are not against anybody... you are for all other kids.
    All kids deserve to be protected from this stuff. Including yours.
  5. SearchingForRainbows

    SearchingForRainbows Active Member


    I'm glad you have such a wonderful law advocate. Put your trust in her. I know you're doing everything possible to help Q. It makes me so sad/angry that you have to fight so hard to get Q what every child deserves - A safe, appropriate environment, with the necessary supports, to give each one of them the best chance at becoming a happy successful adult (whatever that means for each child.) Wish I had some good advice. Wish I could tell you things will get easier. All I can say is that I truly believe with you on his side, Q is going to get everything he needs plus the sun and moon!!

    Many hugs... SFR
    Last edited: Feb 21, 2012
  6. Ktllc

    Ktllc New Member

    I'm sure you can't wait to put it all behind you. Hopefully you will be able to turn this awful situation into something good for Q.
  7. TeDo

    TeDo Guest

    I agree. Talk it over with C and see if she has any ideas of what to ask for. Let her do her job with the "wrongness" of it all. YOU didn't create this, principal and psycho did. You are not doing anything TO them. They are being given the "natural consequences" of their actions. Isn't that what adulthood is all about so we try to teach our kids this? This is what they've earned. Go easy on yourself. Concentrate on Q and getting him everything he needs to become a happy and healthy kid again. He deserves that and you are very good at identifying what he needs.

    I also think you're right with the anxiety coming out the way it is. As long as you can see that, you will be able to help him deal with it. You are doing GREAT!! I am very proud of how you are handling all this. I will say what everyone else has said....Q is sooooo lucky to have YOU for his mom!!!
  8. buddy

    buddy New Member

    {{{{{ CD family }}}}}}
  9. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    I would ask for anything and everything you have ever thought might even a tiny bit help him. Include that you want to hand pick the people who work with him and want the right to insist on them hiring someone else/different if you are ever uncomfortable with someone who is working with him. MN is an "at will" state meaning that an employee can be fired for any reason at any time with no reason given if the employer wants to fire them. The only exceptions are people with contracts that specifically state they can only be terminated for specific listed reasons.

    I know you wouldn't insist someone was fired for anything but the most egregious reasons, but you should still ask for this because if another like psycho was working for him then you could get the persona way from Q at any time. It is also a big thing, and maybe one you could give a little on.

    Ask for the moon AND the stars and be okay with settling for just the moon. They may give you both in exchange for your agreement not to sue them, and follow the advocate's advice on whether to agree or not. But put everything you ever thought about and everything you can read about into the request - the worst they can do is say no and then you sue them for child abuse and endangerment because the way they held his arms and put him on the floor could have hurt/killed/permanently disabled him.
  10. TeDo

    TeDo Guest

    <Like> <Like> Susie's suggestion. DEFINITELY tell them YOU want final say on who works with Q. They can pick anyone they choose but given the way he's been treated by THEIR picks, this would be a given!! YOU need to protect Q and you can't do that if you aren't given the power to do it.