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General Parenting
Changing the mindset of victimhood....
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<blockquote data-quote="dreamer" data-source="post: 11577" data-attributes="member: 1697"><p>wm may have the idea that a male is supposed to be more capable ofprotecting himself and maybe even that he should have somehow protected kt, too.....nevermind they were little children......he still might feel that way. </p><p>and both kids might feel like there was something wrong with them all along to have been abused. they may feel as if they are unloveable and unable to be loved------</p><p>and even if it is made clear the problem was not them but their bio mother------it is likely they will always still think to themself if they had been different she might have treated them better. This could be being reinforced becuz it is they who are in treatment now......in their minds, if it was not them who was in the wrong then why are they the ones seeing all the docs, getting medications, being in RTCs and such. Sure we can tell them it is to help them.....but they are gonna see it the same way a kid sees it when a dad gets ready to spank a child and says this will hurt me more than it will hurt you. some of the insight and understanding just won't come till they are older......and till after they have more positive life experiences under their belts. - most likely into adulthood. even non difficult child kids and non abused kids need time to learn and grow etc......part of why the "legal" age is 18 or 21 for things.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="dreamer, post: 11577, member: 1697"] wm may have the idea that a male is supposed to be more capable ofprotecting himself and maybe even that he should have somehow protected kt, too.....nevermind they were little children......he still might feel that way. and both kids might feel like there was something wrong with them all along to have been abused. they may feel as if they are unloveable and unable to be loved------ and even if it is made clear the problem was not them but their bio mother------it is likely they will always still think to themself if they had been different she might have treated them better. This could be being reinforced becuz it is they who are in treatment now......in their minds, if it was not them who was in the wrong then why are they the ones seeing all the docs, getting medications, being in RTCs and such. Sure we can tell them it is to help them.....but they are gonna see it the same way a kid sees it when a dad gets ready to spank a child and says this will hurt me more than it will hurt you. some of the insight and understanding just won't come till they are older......and till after they have more positive life experiences under their belts. - most likely into adulthood. even non difficult child kids and non abused kids need time to learn and grow etc......part of why the "legal" age is 18 or 21 for things. [/QUOTE]
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Changing the mindset of victimhood....
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