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<blockquote data-quote="Tanya M" data-source="post: 714443" data-attributes="member: 18516"><p>Welcom JD2, I'm so sorry for what you are going through. There is no betrayal quite like a child stealing from you. It doesn't matter if it's 18 dollars or in your case 18K. It doesn't matter if you can afford to "lose" 18K or not. It's theft plain and simple. We muddy it by allowing our emotions to enter in.</p><p></p><p>I know how hard it is to make the decision whether or not to press charges, I've been there with my son. I did press charges when my son stole from us. Here's how I look at it, I would not hesitate to press charges against a stranger that stole from me so why should it be any different when it's family. I'm glad you are processing a fraud report and please, do not feel guilty about it.</p><p></p><p></p><p>Just to be clear, you are not ruing her life, she has managed to do that all on her own. Do not allow her to place guilt you upon you. She did this to herself.</p><p></p><p>This does not surprise me. What she did by stealing from you was self serving. She is not at all concerned about you.</p><p></p><p>Yes, that is sad but again, she did this to herself. She will most likely try and blame and you or others but don't buy into it.</p><p></p><p>This is not your problem or concern. </p><p></p><p>If it were me, I would stay out of it. This is between the two of them. If you want to detach then it's best to stay out of it.</p><p></p><p>I would be very careful here. I have learned that whatever we do, our difficult adult children will twist and use against us. I try not to give my son any ammunition to use against me.</p><p></p><p>There is not much you can do about this. Even if you notified the court, without any evidence that she would do this, they would most likely ignore it. How old is your granddaughter? I would suggest getting granddaughter to memorize your phone number and address so that if something were to happen she could reach out to you. I would also instruct her on how to call 911. </p><p></p><p>I'm so sorry about your mother. The last thing you need to deal with is the chaos of your daughter's life.</p><p>Here is a link to an article about detaching. It's also at the top of this forum. There is great info here. Print it out and read it often.</p><p><a href="https://www.conductdisorders.com/community/threads/article-on-detachment.53639/" target="_blank">Article on Detachment</a></p><p></p><p>Keep posting and let us know how things are going.</p><p></p><p>((HUGS)) to you.................</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Tanya M, post: 714443, member: 18516"] Welcom JD2, I'm so sorry for what you are going through. There is no betrayal quite like a child stealing from you. It doesn't matter if it's 18 dollars or in your case 18K. It doesn't matter if you can afford to "lose" 18K or not. It's theft plain and simple. We muddy it by allowing our emotions to enter in. I know how hard it is to make the decision whether or not to press charges, I've been there with my son. I did press charges when my son stole from us. Here's how I look at it, I would not hesitate to press charges against a stranger that stole from me so why should it be any different when it's family. I'm glad you are processing a fraud report and please, do not feel guilty about it. Just to be clear, you are not ruing her life, she has managed to do that all on her own. Do not allow her to place guilt you upon you. She did this to herself. This does not surprise me. What she did by stealing from you was self serving. She is not at all concerned about you. Yes, that is sad but again, she did this to herself. She will most likely try and blame and you or others but don't buy into it. This is not your problem or concern. If it were me, I would stay out of it. This is between the two of them. If you want to detach then it's best to stay out of it. I would be very careful here. I have learned that whatever we do, our difficult adult children will twist and use against us. I try not to give my son any ammunition to use against me. There is not much you can do about this. Even if you notified the court, without any evidence that she would do this, they would most likely ignore it. How old is your granddaughter? I would suggest getting granddaughter to memorize your phone number and address so that if something were to happen she could reach out to you. I would also instruct her on how to call 911. I'm so sorry about your mother. The last thing you need to deal with is the chaos of your daughter's life. Here is a link to an article about detaching. It's also at the top of this forum. There is great info here. Print it out and read it often. [URL="https://www.conductdisorders.com/community/threads/article-on-detachment.53639/"]Article on Detachment[/URL] Keep posting and let us know how things are going. ((HUGS)) to you................. [/QUOTE]
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