Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
child abuse,domestic violence or self defence?
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 46259" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>husband was the first to get verbally aggressive, by trying to order him around and order him out of the house. difficult child probably shouldn't have walked away, but if the conversation was getting nowhere from difficult child's point of view then this was how he was trying to handle it. Sounds like you've taught difficult child to walk away from confrontation.</p><p></p><p>Frankly, it sounds like husband was spoiling for a fight from the moment he chose to talk to them.</p><p></p><p>As for the cop - it sounds to me like he only was listening to husband, as "the man of the house". This sounds to me like immature jealousy, like two lovers fighting over a girl. Childish in the extreme for husband to buy into this - he sounds like he was affronted by difficult child not acknowledging his authority 100%.</p><p></p><p>There are other, better ways to handle apparent disrespect (because I'm not certain this WAS necessarily disrespect - if husband was already a bit aggressive, difficult child walking away could have been self-protective behaviour, maybe misplaced but not deserving of "get out of the house".</p><p></p><p>Once the knives got grabbed, husband getting more aggro was totally wrong and very damaging for ALL the kids within view.</p><p></p><p>I don't know how I'd react if I had your history, but as I was reading your story, I wanted to punch out your husband (also an inappropriate reaction). Possibly a more effective and appropriate response is what we used to do for two dogs fighting - a bucket of cold water over the pair of them. It should shock them into some semblance of common sense.</p><p></p><p>Can you talk to husband about it now? Because if he can't see, even now, that regardless of who started the problems, that he at the very least made things a lot worse, then I'd be putting the kids' safety first.</p><p></p><p>You don't get teenagers' attention by laying down the law like that. Nor do you get their respect. If he thinks he has earned ANY respect from any of you, after acting like that, HE needs to see a counsellor. Fast.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 46259, member: 1991"] husband was the first to get verbally aggressive, by trying to order him around and order him out of the house. difficult child probably shouldn't have walked away, but if the conversation was getting nowhere from difficult child's point of view then this was how he was trying to handle it. Sounds like you've taught difficult child to walk away from confrontation. Frankly, it sounds like husband was spoiling for a fight from the moment he chose to talk to them. As for the cop - it sounds to me like he only was listening to husband, as "the man of the house". This sounds to me like immature jealousy, like two lovers fighting over a girl. Childish in the extreme for husband to buy into this - he sounds like he was affronted by difficult child not acknowledging his authority 100%. There are other, better ways to handle apparent disrespect (because I'm not certain this WAS necessarily disrespect - if husband was already a bit aggressive, difficult child walking away could have been self-protective behaviour, maybe misplaced but not deserving of "get out of the house". Once the knives got grabbed, husband getting more aggro was totally wrong and very damaging for ALL the kids within view. I don't know how I'd react if I had your history, but as I was reading your story, I wanted to punch out your husband (also an inappropriate reaction). Possibly a more effective and appropriate response is what we used to do for two dogs fighting - a bucket of cold water over the pair of them. It should shock them into some semblance of common sense. Can you talk to husband about it now? Because if he can't see, even now, that regardless of who started the problems, that he at the very least made things a lot worse, then I'd be putting the kids' safety first. You don't get teenagers' attention by laying down the law like that. Nor do you get their respect. If he thinks he has earned ANY respect from any of you, after acting like that, HE needs to see a counsellor. Fast. Marg [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
child abuse,domestic violence or self defence?
Top