TerryJ2
Well-Known Member
We just got back from the child psychiatric's ofc. It was very interesting for me but unproductive for easy child. I had no idea she was that stressed out and thought boarding school and/or camp was Right Now. She had a long talk with-husband in the car this a.m, and I will talk to her tonight. She is taking too much of this on her own shoulders. I also made an appointment., just the two of us, to talk to Dr. R on Thurs. afternoon.
(Oh, by the way, difficult child had 2 meltdowns this wk, Thur and Sun., and he threatened me and shoved his fist at my face and husband had to intervene. I priced out video cameras yesterday, because I don't think Ghg knows he does that ... it's like he's outside of himself, another person. I couldn't find a good one in the price range I wanted. I'll keep looking.)
I printed out a bunch of stuff about ADHD/ODD boarding schools (I started a sep note here) and found some cool places in NC, incl. summer camps that are so cool, I would want to teach there! They do horseback riding and llama backpacking.
Of course, ALL the kids would be like difficult child so I would not be trained to deal with-that. I would ride off into the sunset, never to be seen again. :smirk:
It's interesting, that the places you send a child for drug rehab is completely separate from ADHD camps, and the websites make a huge point to say so in their promo lit. I can understand why. I just never thought about it b4.
At any rate, we'll start with-the camps and maybe do a boarding school next yr or the yr after ... it's the same as college tuition. Gulp. The other thing is, camp will give husband a chance to digest this "going away" thing, because he got all teary eyed and said he would miss difficult child so much, he didn't know if he could stand it. I'm half wondering if difficult child and husband should live together, just the two of them, but know that is not the best solution. difficult child needs professionals, not a bunch of poodles like us. It's about his survival, not about our feelings. husband would never have gone to the child pych or held difficult child back in school or attempted Adderal if I hadn't done it. He talks a lot but doesn't "do" anything. But most of you are in that boat, too, so I'll shut up.
husband suggested that a lot of difficult child's anger is that he's picking up on my anger, and I should do more fun things with-difficult child. The dr. disagreed, and said that he's got the personality and such deep issues that I could do nice, fun things 23 hrs a day, and be the disciplinarian (or, to difficult child, The Mean Mom) for one hr, and it wouldn't change anything.
I was very, very glad to hear that, and especially that he said it in front of husband!!!
Not to say I don't always do nice things (beyond cooking dinner, chauffering, washing)... I went to his baseball game this weekend (I actually watched the whole thing and understood most of it! Often, I read a book, we play board games, when I pick him up from school I give him his favorite Reese's Peanut butter cups, I rub his shoulders and cuddle at night with-him... you get the idea.
In reg. to difficult child's other issues--peeing into the travel sized hairspray bottle, putting PCs Victoria's Secret underwear inside of his boxer shorts and wearing them, hoarding wheat products and candy in his room, stealing my cell ph numerous times to use the video games, and lying about it, (we've had $200 in extra charges in the past 2 mo's. and I just told him that, so I'm hoping THAT has an impact, since he's going to find a way to pay)--some of these issues YOU ALL helped resolve, YAYYY! Thank you! :laugh:
So I actually had solutions and ideas this a.m. b4 I went into the dr's ofc.
Dr. R said the hoarding can be a sign of emotional insecurity or instability (although all kids will steal candy at times, this is getting excessive) and he's not sure where it's coming from. We just didn't have time today to get into it.
The boxer shorts issue he agreed is probably a sensory integration issue, so I went out and bought tighter underwear/briefs, and put them in difficult child's rm today, still in the pkg, where his school clothes are laid out, so it's like a present. I'm not going to say a word about it and just hope that issue goes away.
Don't know if I told you all that he didn't wipe properly until last yr, when he was 9.
difficult child is doing very well in school. Dr. R said he sees other kids from that school in his practice (of course, he can't tell us their names) and they love difficult child and think he's the coolest dude. Two kids are going there for anger and aggression issues, and one because he's shy and gets picked on. How do I know? Because kids can't keep secrets, LOL! :shocked: Their moms would die if they knew the kids were telling everyone. :shocked:
Which means they all know about us, too ... :wink:
(This is all done while difficult child is in another room, and then the dr sent us out and took difficult child in alone. Sometimes we're together and sometimes sep., depending upon the issues and whether he needs difficult child to really open up.)
Also, Dr. R said he used to read this bb, and praised the mother who started it and said it's fantastic.
Just thought I'd give you all a pat on the back. Ta da!!! :smile:
(Oh, by the way, difficult child had 2 meltdowns this wk, Thur and Sun., and he threatened me and shoved his fist at my face and husband had to intervene. I priced out video cameras yesterday, because I don't think Ghg knows he does that ... it's like he's outside of himself, another person. I couldn't find a good one in the price range I wanted. I'll keep looking.)
I printed out a bunch of stuff about ADHD/ODD boarding schools (I started a sep note here) and found some cool places in NC, incl. summer camps that are so cool, I would want to teach there! They do horseback riding and llama backpacking.
Of course, ALL the kids would be like difficult child so I would not be trained to deal with-that. I would ride off into the sunset, never to be seen again. :smirk:
It's interesting, that the places you send a child for drug rehab is completely separate from ADHD camps, and the websites make a huge point to say so in their promo lit. I can understand why. I just never thought about it b4.
At any rate, we'll start with-the camps and maybe do a boarding school next yr or the yr after ... it's the same as college tuition. Gulp. The other thing is, camp will give husband a chance to digest this "going away" thing, because he got all teary eyed and said he would miss difficult child so much, he didn't know if he could stand it. I'm half wondering if difficult child and husband should live together, just the two of them, but know that is not the best solution. difficult child needs professionals, not a bunch of poodles like us. It's about his survival, not about our feelings. husband would never have gone to the child pych or held difficult child back in school or attempted Adderal if I hadn't done it. He talks a lot but doesn't "do" anything. But most of you are in that boat, too, so I'll shut up.
husband suggested that a lot of difficult child's anger is that he's picking up on my anger, and I should do more fun things with-difficult child. The dr. disagreed, and said that he's got the personality and such deep issues that I could do nice, fun things 23 hrs a day, and be the disciplinarian (or, to difficult child, The Mean Mom) for one hr, and it wouldn't change anything.
I was very, very glad to hear that, and especially that he said it in front of husband!!!
Not to say I don't always do nice things (beyond cooking dinner, chauffering, washing)... I went to his baseball game this weekend (I actually watched the whole thing and understood most of it! Often, I read a book, we play board games, when I pick him up from school I give him his favorite Reese's Peanut butter cups, I rub his shoulders and cuddle at night with-him... you get the idea.
In reg. to difficult child's other issues--peeing into the travel sized hairspray bottle, putting PCs Victoria's Secret underwear inside of his boxer shorts and wearing them, hoarding wheat products and candy in his room, stealing my cell ph numerous times to use the video games, and lying about it, (we've had $200 in extra charges in the past 2 mo's. and I just told him that, so I'm hoping THAT has an impact, since he's going to find a way to pay)--some of these issues YOU ALL helped resolve, YAYYY! Thank you! :laugh:
So I actually had solutions and ideas this a.m. b4 I went into the dr's ofc.
Dr. R said the hoarding can be a sign of emotional insecurity or instability (although all kids will steal candy at times, this is getting excessive) and he's not sure where it's coming from. We just didn't have time today to get into it.
The boxer shorts issue he agreed is probably a sensory integration issue, so I went out and bought tighter underwear/briefs, and put them in difficult child's rm today, still in the pkg, where his school clothes are laid out, so it's like a present. I'm not going to say a word about it and just hope that issue goes away.
Don't know if I told you all that he didn't wipe properly until last yr, when he was 9.
difficult child is doing very well in school. Dr. R said he sees other kids from that school in his practice (of course, he can't tell us their names) and they love difficult child and think he's the coolest dude. Two kids are going there for anger and aggression issues, and one because he's shy and gets picked on. How do I know? Because kids can't keep secrets, LOL! :shocked: Their moms would die if they knew the kids were telling everyone. :shocked:
Which means they all know about us, too ... :wink:
(This is all done while difficult child is in another room, and then the dr sent us out and took difficult child in alone. Sometimes we're together and sometimes sep., depending upon the issues and whether he needs difficult child to really open up.)
Also, Dr. R said he used to read this bb, and praised the mother who started it and said it's fantastic.
Just thought I'd give you all a pat on the back. Ta da!!! :smile: