My 26 year old step-daughter graduated from college in 2014 with a nursing degree. She has not passed her boards and works P/T as a waitress. She has gotten messed up with drugs and a bad crowd of friends. She has lied about studying for her boards for an entire year; She lies about every little thing these days. Her mother passed away when she was young and we all believe that she has never gotten over that. She has always been very angry. We forced her to go to counseling 5 times throughout her life, but you can’t force someone to realize they need help. She IS angry at her dad for remarrying at the age of 37. She has always hated me because I was the one who married him. We have been married 16 years now. She has a low self-esteem; not many friends. The friends she has are drug dealers and users. She had to move home after she graduated because she couldn’t afford to live on her own anymore. She brought the illegal drugs into our home and the car we provided for her. We had to give her a car when her car died her senior year of college and she was a poor starving college student and needed to get to and from her clinicals. Yet she could buy drugs all the time. We have been snowed for a long time. We wanted nothing more than for her to succeed and get her nursing degree because her student loans after six years of school were mounting. “SHE” decided to continue her juvenile ways and party for the past year rather than get a big girl job. My husband and I met with a counselor on how to handle her and how to stop enabling her. The counselor suggested a contract where we ascertain tough love and give her 30 days to get a full-time job, drug test her and commit to a date to take the nursing boards. She has needed to be pushed into doing things her entire life, so this was the BIG push we thought would jump start her. She agreed to the contract, even though she thought it was stupid and made sure she told the entire world (her drug friends) what we were doing. The 30 days came and she decided that she was no longer going to live in our house by our rules and that we will NOT drug test her and that her $1200/month student loans that my husband alone cosigned were no longer her problem. She left in July and we haven’t heard from her since. We hear from one of her brothers that she is safe, but we don’t want to put him in the middle. Her brother has partied with her in the past, but he has told us that he’s tired of what she’s doing and that it’s just not right to stick us with her financial responsibility. Her brain must be fried from all of the drugs she has done or continues to do, in order to do this out of the blue. This isn’t the child we raised. I always thought she was an angry child that had a lot of emotional baggage, but that she would eventually grow up when she graduated. In fact, she can be angry and hate us for all that we’ve done FOR her, but to run from her financial responsibilities and stick us with another mortgage is too much to wrap our brains around. We realize now we shouldn’t have co-signed, but obviously it’s too late. I would love advice from people who have been in a similar situation or know of others in this situation and what they did. It’s killing my husband that she is doing this to him.