Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by guest3, Aug 16, 2007.
So our child welfare
That's total BS. While I understand why you did it, it was wrong of them to put you in that position. I'd report them to their administrators. How'd the psychiatric evaluation turn out?
I have a personal theory about abusive drunks. They say and do what they do because their inhibitions are down. They really mean it. They really want to hurt you. It's the alcohol that gives them that bravado to do it when they might be able to control it when they're sober. You sober them up and they still want to hurt you. They still do hurt you. They just find more socially acceptable ways of doing it.
I hope that he will get sober. I hope that you will be less lonely for him. What happened in this particular situation seems extremely manipulative of him. You said that difficult child 1 is thrilled he is gone. I hope you will talk to someone about protecting yourself and the rest of your family from him.
I would leave a message on your answering machine that all messages are being taped and any violations of restraining order will be reported....may make people think twice about committing their voices to tape....
You have already done the hardest thing--getting away from a violent, abusive relationship....by getting him the money, wallet, you have said I hear your plea and I have complied---in his mind becomes "Okay, even though she has a restraining order in place she doesn't really mean it because she brought me the money I asked for....." I am not trying to be mean, but you need to plan ahead for your responses....he will now be asking for more and knows that he doesn't even need to do anything, like change his behavior, stop drinking, etc. because all he had to do this time was lay in a hospital bed, ask someone else to ask you for the money.....
Please read the story of Lisa Bianco/Alan Matheney that happened in Indiana about 15+ years ago. Just google either name....You may not see yourself, but just be aware of what can happen.....
Sending you strength to see you thru this time....
You know, I gotta wonder if the social worker and guy who took the money weren't in cahoots to take cash from vulnerable people. That would s-u-c-k for ianav (who is out the cash, anyway), but it would teach him a lesson for trying to sucker those idiots into helping him.
I would totally report them.
That was completely unprofessional of the social worker and I would absolutely report him/her.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say that it's not so much that you miss him, rather you are grieving over what him being gone represents. Lost dreams, lost hope, and throw in that a big life change was forced on you overnight. It's a lot to deal with, especially when you're still dealing with the emotional fall-out of such a traumatic event.
I was married to an abusive and manipulative man. Ok, two of them cause I didn't learn the first go-round. He's not going to change simply because the bleep hit the fan. He will continue his behavior as long as you let him. I agree with witzend on her abusive drunk theory completely. Life experience has just showed that to be the case too many times.
Right now...this stage of your life...has to be about you and your kids. Let husband worry about husband. He got himself into this mess. It's not yours to clean up. Get yourself to an Al-Anon meeting. Call a Domestic Violence hotline. Surround yourself with support. Those that aren't supportive have no place with you right now.
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